Douchebag Breeding Alert
November 15, 2008 · Print This Article
Newsweek warns that the Obama election could trigger a mini-baby boom nine months from now.
The theory goes that Barack Obama was born on August 4, 1961, about 9 months after John F Kennedy was elected and that the Obama election will lead to progressives deciding to bring children into the world now that their Messiah is going to be President.
Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed “Obama Babies” : children “conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex.” “If the amount of alcohol, happy people and major functions on election night is any indication, I suspect we’ll indeed see a boom,” says 25-year-old Brandon Mendelson, a graduate student in Albany, N.Y., who says he changed his vote at the last minute because “I wanted to be able to tell our future children that we voted for Obama.”
Doctors are already preparing for an increase.
The mood of the country and the optimism about leadership is always somewhat related to birth rates,” says Dr. Manny Alvarez, chief of reproductive science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. “I’m gearing up for a healthy increase.”
No word if Planned Parenthood is preparing for a booming business in the coming months. After all these are Obama supporters we’re talking about. There’s no reason they should be “punished with a baby” for their euphoric mistakes.
One question this raises is whether these “Obama Babies” will be another generation of douchebags…or whether they’re going to look at their parents when they are told why they were conceived, look them straight in the eye and say, “You guys are a pair of douchebags.”