Blagojevich Sends Largest Available Ego To US Senate

Posted by: Tristan

Rod Blagojevich looked high and low for Illinois’s largest available ego and sent it to the US Capitol to serve in the Senate this morning.

As of this morning, Harry Reid did not let Roland Burris be seated on the grounds that his appointment has not received the administrative signature of Illinois’s Secretary of State.  But if and when Burris is seated, the members of what is arguably the world’s most egotistical legislative body will be taken aback by the sheer size of Burris’s ego.

The 71-year-old Burris — who often refers to himself in the third person — has never been shy about broadcasting his ambitions and loudly celebrating his achievements.

“I am a visionary,” he declared in a 2002 interview with the Sun-Times when he was running for governor, his third unsuccessful try at the job.

In a 1994 interview with the paper, during his first effort at capturing the governor’s office, Burris said his past success — he had been elected comptroller and attorney general ‹ was “divine providence” that began at age 15 when he decided to become a lawyer and officeholder.

If assuming that his political career was divinely inspired wasn’t enough of an indicator, meet Roland’s two children, son Roland and daughter Rolanda.  Yep, he named both of his children after himself, which rivals, if not trumps, Jermaine Jackson naming his son Jermajesty in sheer brazenness.

And let’s look at the tomb he has had built for himself(engraved with his life’s achievements):

We’re sure that the engravers are hard at work today, adding “US Senator 2009-” to the stonework as this goes to press.

Of course, Burris was only the third largest ego of Illinois, but the governor is otherwise occupied and Obama has just left town.