MADD Opponent Dies Tragically, Expectedly

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GARDEN CITY, N.Y — Vehement Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) opponent Diane Schuler perished in a tragic, yet expected vehicular accident that claimed the lives of many innocent non-imbibing citizens.

According police reports, Schuler, who had consumed epic amounts of vodka and marijuana, piloted herself into an oncoming SUV. The apparent MADD protest claimed the lives of Schuler, along with her 2-year-old daughter, and three nieces:

Diane Schuler, who died along with her 2-year-old daughter and three nieces in her red minivan, had more than 10 drinks of alcohol in her system and a high level of the main ingredient in marijuana, authorities said. A broken 1.75-liter bottle of Absolut vodka was found in her wrecked minivan, police said.

The apparent demonstration favoring non-temperance on the road also claimed the lives of three men that were struck by Schuler’s minivan. Police indicate that Schuler was well prepared to face her MADD opponents on the night of July 26th:

Investigators said Schuler had been driving erratically on other upstate roads before getting on the highway for the 140-mile trip home.

 Schuler’s blood-alcohol level was well above the legal limit, and she still had undigested alcohol in her stomach, State Police Maj. William Carey said Tuesday.

 Blood tests also showed she had smoked marijuana 15 minutes to an hour before the crash, said Betsy Spratt, chief toxicologist for the Westchester County medical examiner.

 ”With that level of alcohol … she would have had difficulty with perception, with her judgment, with her memory,” Spratt said. “You start to get what we call tunnel vision.”

 Or more simply…

Toxicology reports found the businesswoman’s blood-alcohol level was 0.19, more than twice the state’s legal limit of 0.08, Carey said. She also had 6 grams of undigested alcohol in her stomach, Carey said.

Now, to highlight the appalling nature of this whole thing is the following statement:

Others saw the vehicle veering from one lane to another, and one witness said it appeared as if she was attempting to pass him on the shoulder of the highway. Another witness said the van drove across a grass divider at a service area.

 Six drivers called 911 before the collision, which happened after Schuler drove 1.7 miles south in the parkway’s northbound lane.

Could NY State police have responded sooner, giving this story a happier ending? New York is famous for the slogan “if you see something, say something.” Apparently, a lot of people did… and a lot of people died.