Hockey Night is in Canada, So Suck It, America
March 13, 2010 · Print This Article
For the dozen or two of us who happen to be American and hockey fans, the most offensive drawback of living outside of the market of your home hockey team is having the games filtered through the NHL Network. The biggest problem with the NHL Network is that they lack the official squad of schlub commentators like the NFL and MLB Networks, who send their own teams of inept boothmen to cover the games.
The NHL Network commissions the CBC to cover the games. Hockey Night in Canada is the Canadian equivalent of Monday Night Football. It’s their joint, so the coverage must be great, right? Yeah, it’s decent, but the problem with this is that local means that the announcers have a Dirk Diggler size boner for all Canadian teams.
Being a Bruins fan living in sunny Florida, I can’t watch games on NESN. It’s alright listening to the hacks on Sun Network or whatever it is down here, but they’re supposed to be local honks for the Tampa Bay Lightning. Go Bolts, etc. Believe it or not, the Lightning knows how to treat their fans. Where else can you get a 2 ticket, 2 hot dog, 2 beer, 1 parking pass package for $45? ‘Nuff said.
The Canadians that come to Lightning games are a different story altogether. I was at a Lightning Capitals game last season (BTW free tickets courtesy of the Lightning for fan appreciation) and at the end of the tunnel exiting the rink there were about a dozen Canadians wearing Habs, Canucks, and Flamers uniforms taunting the Americans. Unfortunately, this was the rare sober hockey game for me and I said nothing to these hosers. I wouldn’t want to be a beer fueled Yank mouthing off to some British “football” hoolians.
John Candy must be spinning in his grave…with an apple in his mouth…slowly on low heat…on a crude rotisserie of sorts. War on Canada?
As an American though, I have no right to complain about my hockey being broadcast in French in at least half the size of English. We’ve abandoned the sport as a result of the NHL abandoning ESPN coverage in exchange for the glory that is Versus Network. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is an idiot, but that’s another story.
The NHL Network needs to get their shit straight because they’re alienating American hockey fans with their broadcast decisions. Get the games back on a real network in something other than NBC Lo-Def. Seriously, the national games look like they’re being played underwater.
Regardless, Don Cherry needs to be involved in every national game. He is the true ambassador to hockey and should be more visible. The ironic part of this plea is that many of Don Cherry’s suits can be seen from space.
At the risk of editorializing, fuck Tim Horton’s and fuck everybody who prefers their bacon round.
You know what they call Canadian bacon in Canada………Ham. Get a life. What do you expect from a show thats called “Hockey night in CANADA” There not going to be anything but Pro-Canadian. I don’t like it either but it’s like asking an Obama supporter how Obama is doing in the White House, well….. there going to blow more smoke up your ass than Willie Nelson posing for the High Times cover. You just have suck up your pride and listen to them…….. or mute them and stream your teams radio broadcast from your computer. Either way you still have to watch low impact hockey. The way the NHL is going with there sissy rules Your Bruins could be wearing black and yellow Skirts by next season.