Chris Satullo: Don’t Celebrate the 4th

Douchebag columnist for the Philidelphia Inqurier Chris Satullo isn’t celebrating the 4th of July, and doesn’t want you to, either. Why is that? Well, he says that we’re unworthy of our heritage. Here’s an excerpt from his treason piece(piece indeed):

Put the fireworks in storage.
Cancel the parade.

Tuck the soaring speeches in a drawer for another time.

This year, America doesn’t deserve to celebrate its birthday. This Fourth of July should be a day of quiet and atonement.

For we have sinned.

We have failed to pay attention. We’ve settled for lame excuses. We’ve spit on the memory of those who did that brave, brave thing in Philadelphia 232 years ago.

If you have the stomach, I recommend reading the entire column. It’s amazing how far liberalism, left-loathing, and a typewriter can get you. In any event, no real commentary here… just an open letter from the Douchebag Report to Mr. Satullo:

To: csatullo@phillynews.com

Subject: Are you drunk?

Dear Sir:

How dare you say such incendiary things before a blessed and well-deserved national holiday? These are the times when Americans need to band together to celebrate everything that we actually have. This is a time to call attention to past and present struggles that we’ve had to deal with as a nation – struggles to preserve the freedoms that we SHOULD be celebrating.

This is indeed a time to display flags, sing patriotic hymns, go to a baseball game, and eat apple pie in celebration of the selfless, giving souls that strive for our preservation.

I wish I could say that I’d never come across your column. It pains me to see such egregious examples of the Main Stream Media’s contempt for the public. I am happy to report that few citizens share your bleak views of America. The reality is that the globe at large does not hate America. The reality is that we have not fallen upon dark times. The reality is that media outlets such as yours need to be kept in check so that far-left agendas such as yours do not poison the fabric of this nation.

Do me a favor and take this 4th of July to think about what you’ve written, and what liberties have been granted to you, enabling you to get away with such treasonous verbiage. Take this 4th of July, reflect, and stop being a douchebag.

Respectfully,
[Ed.]