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	<title>Douchebag Report(tm) &#187; Douchebites</title>
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	<description>Empowering the fight against insanity</description>
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		<title>Michele Bachmann is a Serious Presidential Candidate</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2302</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2302#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Dec 2011 05:10:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michele Bachmann]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Presidential Candidate]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=2302</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In what can only be described as a desperate bid to be taken &#8220;seriously&#8221;, in last night&#8217;s Republican debate Michele Bachmann roared “I am a serious candidate for the presidency and I think it is important that I be treated as an equal on that stage.”
Here&#8217;s a hint, Michele&#8230;if you have to say it, you don&#8217;t.
For [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Newport, RI Liquor Store Turns #OccupyWallStreet Into A Marketing Ploy</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2259</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2259#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:30:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#OccupyWallStreet]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=2259</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If there’s one thing that the #OccupyWallStreet crowd has demonstrated, through their words and actions over the last few weeks, it’s that they HATE businesses (with the possibly exceptions of drug peddlers and liberal media outlets). In fact, one of their main gripes is that it’s so hard to live in the modern world without [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Gawker is Jealous of Zuckerberg</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2211</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2211#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Jun 2011 07:23:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gawker.com]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=2211</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mark Zuckerberg is a bit of a douchebag, at least as portrayed in The Social Network. The guy screwed over several of his friends and a lot of his enemies on his path to create the multi-billion dollar empire that is Facebook. There have been no shortage of lawsuits on the matter.
That said, no one [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Brent Gobbell: Whites Have No Power Over E-Mail</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1870</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1870#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:06:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[e-mail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tennessee Highway Patrol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trooper Brent Gobbell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[white power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[white pride]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1870</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tennessee Highway Patrol Trooper Brent Gobbell, 51, might not like black people, but today he probably dislikes Microsoft Outlook even more.
A Tennessee state trooper who accidentally sent an e-mail proclaiming white pride to 787 state employees has been suspended for 15 days without pay and will have to attend diversity training.
The e-mail from Trooper Brent [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Douchebag Arrested for DWI Three Times in Three Weeks</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1865</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1865#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:01:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1865</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some people never learn, and Reno, Nevada resident John Parker is one of them:
Reno Police Sgt. Tom Robinson says John Parker was stopped Monday afternoon on a U.S. Highway 395 off-ramp on the south end of town after a concerned citizen alerted police about his erratic driving.
He says a check of Parker&#8217;s police record found [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Posterity</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1814</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1814#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:18:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1814</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s an adaptation of a Lord Byron quote, which is quite fitting for the late Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Douchebag):
&#8220;Posterity will never survey a nobler grave than this:
Here lie the bones of Kennedy: Stop, traveler, and piss.&#8221;
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Free Coffee Goes Up In Smoke</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1810</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1810#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:28:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1810</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In yet another example of why it’s usually a bad idea to have the government make lifestyle choices for the people, New York City is hassling a tobacco store owner for having a $9,000 coffee machine in his cigar shop, Barclay Rex.
Vince Nastri III, third-generation proprietor of the palace of puff, said his problems started [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Ryan Jenkins Lived By Strangulation, Died By Strangulation</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1758</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1758#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:21:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tristan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[British Columbia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Canada]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dead]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jasmine Fiore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[murder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ryan Jenkins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMZ.com]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1758</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an update to a recent story, douchebag reality TV star and Canadian Ryan Jenkins has added a “-suicide” to the murder of his wife Jasmine Fiore. TMZ.com reports that his body was discovered by hotel staff in British Columbia and it appears that that he hung himself.
We at the Douchebag Report can only find [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jimmy Carter: Best of Living Ex-Presidents</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1668</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1668#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:40:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1668</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The liberals are trying to make a big deal out of this: Rasmussen reported that Jummy Carter is the best of living Ex-Presidents. For starters, Rasmussen, what the hell kind of survey is this anyway? I mean, really, what&#8217;s the point? According to Rasmussen:
For nearly one-out-of-three voters (32%), Jimmy Carter is the living ex-president who [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>We Were Warned</title>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1663</link>
		<comments>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1663#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:23:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Douchebites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.douchebagreport.com/?p=1663</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ronald Reagan Speaks Out Against Socialized Medicine
Here is an audio track featuring (then private citizen) Ronald Reagan speaking out against socialized medicine. This track dates back to 1961 and is part of the &#8220;Operation Coffee Cup Campaign against Socialized Medicine,&#8221; formed to combat Democrats asking for socialized health care. We have to consider ourselves warned:

]]></description>
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