Joe The Plumber’s “Big Brother” Resigns

Ohio Department of Job and Family Services Director Helen Jones-Kelley resigned Wednesday after a finding that she improperly used state computers to dig up personal information on Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher after he asked Barak Obama about his tax plan.

Department of Job and Family Services Director Helen Jones-Kelley said in a statement accompanying her resignation that she won’t allow her reputation to be disparaged and that she is concerned for her family’s safety.

“This decision comes after a time of pause, in which I realize that I continue to be used as a political postscript, providing a distraction from urgent state priorities,” she said in her statement.

She could not be reached for additional comment Wednesday night.

Gov. Ted Strickland suspended Jones-Kelley for a month without pay after the Ohio Inspector General’s office found in November that she improperly used state computers to find personal information on Samuel Wurzelbacher. The investigation also found that she conducted improper political fundraising activity for now President-elect Barack Obama.

“The governor values Helen Jones-Kelley’s years of public service as a dedicated advocate for the most vulnerable among us,” Strickland’s spokesman Keith Dailey said Wednesday. “He understands her decision and accepts her resignation.”

So Jones-Kelley violates Joe the Plumber’s civil rights, abuses her government powers and she claims she’s the one worried about having her reputation disparaged and her family’s safety?  That’s pretty ripe.

Jones-Kelley wasn’t the only state employee caught snooping through Wurzelbacher’s past.

Two other officials who were suspended from their positions for their role in the computer search will not be returning to their jobs, an agency spokeswoman said…

Two top-level members of Jones-Kelley’s staff also will be leaving the department, said agency spokeswoman Scarlett Bouder.

Fred Williams, the department’s assistant director, will resign effective Jan. 31 and the agency is revoking Doug Thompson’s position as deputy director of child support effective Dec. 22, she said.

Both had been suspended from their positions after being implicated in the computer records search.

So the good news, at the end of the day, is that there are three fewer douchebags working in the Ohio government…and there has been a “chilling” effect on others who would abuse their government powers to attack their political opponents.

The Cleanest Thing To Come Out Of Patti Blagojevich’s Mouth Was Rod

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was not the only foul-mouthed Blagojevich in the recent corruption scandal.

According to the complaint, it was Patti Blagojevich’s voice in the background spewing a suggestion to “just fire” some newspaper editors if the Tribune Co. hoped for state assistance to sell Wrigley Field, the storied home of the Chicago Cubs.

“Hold up that (expletive) Cubs (expletive),” she says as her husband is talking on the telephone. “(Expletive) them.”

Patti Blagojevich’s family acknowledged the salty language contained on the recordings but said those words were uttered at a stressful time as both she and her husband were under federal scrutiny.

“I can understand it. This a pressure cooker she’s living in,” said Deborah Mell, who will be sworn in as a state representative next month.

Pressure cooker?  Is that what it’s called when you’re the most powerful couple in Illinois?  What’s the pressure, that someone, somewhere might be ripping off the Illinois taxpayer more than you and your husband?

Patti Blagojevich, 43, has not been charged with wrongdoing, and she has not spoken publicly since her husband’s arrest.

Chicago Alderman Dick Mell said his oldest daughter is “loyal sometimes to a fault” and would “jump down (his) throat” when he argued with Rod Blagojevich at holiday gatherings.

So, are we to believe that her own father thinks that she’s…a douchebag?

He has had his suspicions about his son-in-law for some time.

Dick Mell helped his son-in-law in his first run for governor, but a year after his election in 2002, the alderman publicly questioned if Blagojevich fundraisers were trading political contributions for state jobs.

“At that time, I felt that I was right to say what I said. I don’t know, that’s ancient history,” Mell said.

A breach formed between father and daughter and Mell said a conversation he had with Patti Blagojevich Wednesday was the first time they had spoken in “quite a while.”

So the corruption of the Blagojevich’s was too much for the rest of her political family?  That’s impressive.

Santa Claus: Environmentalist Douchebag

An army of Santa Clauses descended on energy company E-on’s headquarters in Coventry, England to protest a new coal-fired power plant. Apparently Santa Claus will have a hard time affording the coal he needs to give naughty children with the increased demand for the fossil fuel the plant will create.

E-on is planning to build a new coal-powered power station in Kingsnorth, near Rochester in Kent, and the protestors believe this will cause too much damage to the environment.

Paul Cooper-Clarke, group spokesman, said: “We are in a climate crisis and building a coal-powered station is the last thing we need to be doing. We’ve got nothing against Coventry but this is the beginning of an ongoing campaign against the E-on company.”

About 20 people from Climate Camp, which has previously targeted Heathrow Airport and other power stations, took part in yesterday’s protest.

Mr Cooper-Clarke said eight people managed to enter the building while four had stuck their hands to the glass doors with strong glue.

Laura Wilkes, who took part in the protest, said E-on’s plans make the company a “climate criminal”. She said: “They want to build new coal-fired power stations, which is the most polluting way of producing electricity known to man.

The most polluting way of producing electricity known to man?  Douchebag Report doubts that.  What about burning baby seals and hippie carcasses to boil bleach to spin a turbine?

Climate Camp sounds like the typical bunch of ill-informed holier-than-though douchebags we’ve  come to expect from the environmental Left.

What’s Wrong With Rahm?

Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s White House Chief-of-Staff, has been maintaining a low profile since the Blagojevich scandal broke. He refused to answer questions as to whether he was the Obama “advisor” in the criminal complaint against Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Emanuel was uncharacteristically absent from Obama’s news conference this morning. He was spotted two hours later in the lobby of Chicago’s City Hall. He was there to listen to his two children performing in a concert with their school, Anshe Emet.

A Sun-Times reporter pressed him to comment about whether he was the emissary named in the criminal complaint.

“You’re wasting your time,” Emanuel said. “I’m not going to say a word to you. I’m going to do this with my children. Dont do that. I’m a father. I have two kids. I’m not going to do it.”

Asked, “Can’t you do both?” Emanuel replied, “I’m not as capable as you. I’m going to be a father. I’m allowed to be a father,” and he pushed the reporter’s digital recorder away.

There is some evidence pointing to Emanuel as the Obama advisor who Blagojevich was talking to in regards to the Governor’s Senate appointment.

Blagojevch was caught on tape saying that he wanted the Obama advisor in question to know what Blagojevich wanted in exchange for the Jarrett appointment.

Blagojevich said, “He asks me for the fifth CD thing, I want it to be in his head.” Emanuel represents the 5th Congressional District in Illinois.

If this is what it’s like when Chicago comes to DC, it’s going to be a long four years.

What Did The President-Elect Know And When Did He Know It?

The most visible product of the Chicago’s corrupt political machine, Barak Obama, was quick to distance himself from the self destruct sequence that is Illinois Governor and arrested douchebag Rod Blagojevich.

Never-the-less, we at DouchebagReport.com are a little confused as to what the President-elect knew and when he knew it.

Tuesday, Barak Obama told us he hadn’t talked to Governor Blagojevich, which would be really credible, if David Axlerod hadn’t clouded the issue.  Obama said he hadn’t had contact with the governor or his office.

Asked what contact he’d had with the governor’s office about his replacement in the Senate, President-elect Obama today said “I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not aware of what was happening.”

This would be completely credible, if David Axelrod, Obama’s senior advisor, hadn’d completely contradicted the statement back on November 23rd.

While insisting that the President-elect had not expressed a favorite to replace him, and his inclination was to avoid being a “kingmaker,” Axelrod said, “I know he’s talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them.”

Of course, Axelrod issued a statement on the evening of the December 9 contradicting himself…

Axelrod this evening issued a statement saying. “I was mistaken when I told an interviewer last month that the President-elect has spoken directly to Governor Blagojevich about the Senate vacancy. They did not then or at any time discuss the subject.”

In other words, by “yes”, Axelrod meant “no”.  In laymen’s speak, when Axelrod says “I’m not a douchebag”, he means “I am a douchebag”.

Like we said, this can be confusing, so when in doubt, assume that anyone out of Chicago, including the President-Elect, is as corrupt as possible.

Blogojevich F**king B*sted

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich f-bombed his way to prison over the last few months. The potty-mouthed politician and John Harris, his chief of staff, was arrested this morning on corruption charges related to Blagojevich’s attempt to sell the Senate Seat Barack Obama is vacating for the White House and extortion attempts against the Chicago Tribune.

Attached to the U.S. District Court complaint is an FBI affidavit, excerpted below, alleging that Blagojevich was caught on wiretaps noting that the Senate seat “is a f**king valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” He was also recorded saying that unless “I get something real good,” he would appoint himself to the vacancy. “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.” According to surreptitiously recorded conversations, Blagojevich spoke with associates about the possibility of trading the Senate post for either an ambassadorship or a Cabinet post. The politician, according to the affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Daniel Cain, “analogized his situation to that of a sports agent shopping a potential free agent to various teams.” During a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Blagojevich referred to Obama as a “motherf**ker” and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if “I don’t get anything.” Referring to Obama, Blagojevich exclaimed, “F**k him. For nothing? F**k him.” In a November 11 conversation, Blagojevich remarked that he knew Obama wanted Valerie Jarrett, a longtime confidante, to succeed him, “but they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. F**k them.”

In exchange for the Senate seat, Blagojevich was looking to optain:

•         A substantial salary for himself at a either a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions.

•         Placing his wife on corporate boards where he speculated she might garner as much as $150,000 a year.

•         Promises of campaign funds — including cash up front.

•         A cabinet post or ambassadorship for himself.

He was also considering appointing himself to the Senate for a variety of douchebag reasons:

•         Frustration at being “stuck” as governor;

•         A belief that he will be able to obtain greater resources if he is indicted as a sitting Senator as opposed to a sitting governor;

•         A desire to remake his image in consideration of a possible run for President in 2016;

•         Avoiding impeachment by the Illinois legislature;

•         Making corporate contacts that would be of value to him after leaving public office;

•         Facilitating his wife’s employment as a lobbyist;

•         And generating speaking fees should he decide to leave public office.

That’s right.  Blagojevich was just in it for the money.  Call us naive, but don’t politicians usually seek higher office for the power, then just enjoy the financial benefits as a perk afterwards?  Well, Blagojevich wanted money…and an escape from legal problems.

Also on Nov. 12, in a conversation with Harris, the complaint affidavit states that Blagojevich said his decision about the open Senate seat will be based on three criteria in the following order of importance: “Our legal situation, our personal situation, my political situation. This decision, like every other one, needs to be based upon that. Legal. Personal. Political.”

Harris said: “Legal is the hardest one to satisfy.”

Blagojevich said that his legal problems could be solved by naming himself to the Senate seat.

Not satisfied with just playing sports agent with Obama’s Senate seat, Blagojevich also went after the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board.

According to the affidavit, intercepted phone calls revealed that the Tribune Company, which owns the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Cubs, has explored the possibility of obtaining assistance from the Illinois Finance Authority relating to the Tribune Company’s efforts to sell the Cubs and the financing or sale of Wrigley Field.

In a Nov. 6 phone call, Harris explained to Blagojevich that the deal the Tribune Company was trying to get through the IFA was basically a tax mitigation scheme in which the IFA would own title to Wrigley Field and the Tribune would not have to pay capital gains tax, which Harris estimated would save the company approximately $100 million.

Intercepted calls allegedly show that Blagojevich directed Harris to inform the Tribune and an associate, identified as Tribune Financial Advisor, that state financial assistance would be withheld unless members of the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board were fired, primarily because Blagojevich viewed them as driving discussion of his possible impeachment.

In a Nov. 4 phone call, Blagojevich allegedly told Harris that he should say to Tribune Financial Advisor, the Cubs chairman and the Tribune owner, “our recommendation is fire all those [expletive] people, get ‘em the [expletive] out of there and get us some editorial support.”

On Nov. 6, the day of a Tribune editorial critical of Blagojevich , Harris told Blagojevich that he told Tribune Financial Advisor the previous day that things “look like they could move ahead fine but, you know, there is a risk that all of this is going to get derailed by your own editorial page.”

Harris also told Blagojevich that he was meeting with Tribune Financial Advisor on Nov. 10.

In a Nov. 11 intercepted call, Harris allegedly told Blagojevich that Tribune Financial Advisor talked to Tribune Owner and Tribune Owner “got the message and is very sensitive to the issue.”

Harris told Blagojevich that according to Tribune Financial Advisor, there would be “certain corporate reorganizations and budget cuts coming and, reading between the lines, he’s going after that section.”

Blagojevich allegedly responded: “Oh. That’s fantastic.”

Governor Rod Blagojevich got arrested this morning for being a douchebag?  Oh.  That’s fantastic.

Douchebag Democrat Done

Nine-term Democrat US Congressman and indicted douchebag William “Cold Cash” Jefferson lost his re-election bid on Saturday.

Republican challenger Anh “Joseph” Cao, an attorney and community organizer, defeated Jefferson in the 2nd Congressional district race. He will become the first Vietnamese-American elected to Congress.

With 100 percent of precincts reporting, Cao had almost 50 percent of the vote to Jefferson’s 47 percent.

The 2nd Congressional district, in and around New Orleans, is mostly African-American and heavily Democratic, and Jefferson appeared to be favored to win re-election going into the election.

Jefferson has been in political hot water for the since his residences were raided in 2005.

Jefferson has pleaded not guilty to 16 criminal counts of racketeering, bribery, money laundering and obstruction of justice. He denies any wrongdoing.

In 2005, Jefferson’s private homes in Washington and New Orleans were raided, and FBI agents say they found $90,000 in cash stashed in one of his freezers.

Officials say the money was part of a payment in marked bills from an FBI informant in a transaction captured on videotape. Jefferson also is accused of soliciting and receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes for himself and his family in exchange for promoting their products and services to countries in Africa.

Elections in Lousiana’s 2nd and 4th districts were delayed after Hurricane Gustav hit the state in September.

William Jefferson is no stranger to Douchebag Report readers, having made the report here, here and here.

Tonya Payne: Pittsburgh Douchebag/Typical Politician

What is worse, when government officials don’t know how America works or when they don’t care?

In most career fields, a professional is expected to know more than the average citizen.  They are also expected to abide by the code of ethics of that field.

What would you call a group of “professionals” who know less about their job than you do and will happily break the rules they are sworn to uphold?  We call them douchebags, but they generally go by the title “politicians”.

The Intercollegiate Studies Institute(ISI) revealed some interesting results from a civic knowledge exam they organized.

US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday.

Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI).

“It is disturbing enough that the general public failed ISI’s civic literacy test, but when you consider the even more dismal scores of elected officials, you have to be concerned,” said Josiah Bunting, chairman of the National Civic Literacy Board at ISI.

How ignorant were elected officials?

Asked about the electoral college, 20 percent of elected officials incorrectly said it was established to “supervise the first televised presidential debates.”

One of the most worrying responses…and probably the most relevant in these hard economic times, was to a question about economics.

The question that received the fewest correct responses, just 16 percent, tested respondents’ basic understanding of economic principles, asking why “free markets typically secure more economic prosperity than government’s centralized planning?”

So that establishes that American politicians are ignorant…but what about when they know what’s wrong and do it anyway?

Pittsburgh City Council gave its first approval today to legislation requiring that anyone report a lost or stolen firearm report that within 24 hours or potentially face a $500 fine.

The 6-1 vote, with two abstentions, sets up a final vote likely next week, which would send the legislation to Mayor Luke Ravenstahl for his signature or veto, and then potentially to the courts, where similar measures have been challenged.

“Who really cares about it being unconstitutional?” said Councilwoman Tonya Payne, a supporter. “This is what’s right to do, and if this means that we have to go out and have a court battle, then that’s fine … We have plenty of dead bodies coming up in our streets every single day, and that is unacceptable.”

Who cares about it being unconstitutional?  One would hope Payne’s constituents.  I mean, if you really want to do something about crime, regardless of the Constitution, why not send in the Army to break into every house and business, search for and seize all weapons, drugs, deviant literature, and anything else that might lead people to break the law.  Then, while you’re at it, why not quarter those troops in those homes.  They need a place to say and their presence would certainly reduce crime rates.

Tonya Payne represents City Council District 6.

Council District 6 includes the Hill District, Downtown, Uptown, the Strip District, Manchester, Central Northside, California-Kirkbride, and Allegheny West, as well as parts of West Oakland, South Oakland, and Fineview.

Feel free to let Tonya Payne know that you care about what’s constitutional here.

(Hat Tip to DB3)

Now They Tell Us: Media Admits to Pro-Obama Bias

During the Presidential campaign, conservatives were complaining long and hard that the mainstream media was explicitly biased towards Obama and against McCain.

After the campaign ended, media analysis outlets reported a media-wide bias for Obama.

And now the media itself is admitting that it was in Obama’s corner the whole time.  Washington Post Ombudsman, Deborah Howell was the first to admit to her paper’s pro-Obama bias in election coverage.

In a second column, she cited examples of this bias.

· The Post put on Page 1 two long stories about “Troopergate” — the allegation that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin fired her state’s public safety commissioner because he wouldn’t dismiss her ex-brother-in-law from his state trooper’s job. One of the Page 1 stories reported a legislative investigator’s conclusion that Palin had abused her power. When she was cleared by an Alaska Personnel Board report written by a self-described “loyal Democrat” investigator, the story was eight paragraphs long, under a one-column headline on an inside page.

· The Oct. 10 Metro section front featured a story and photo about Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) as a “giant-slayer” who had “won plaudits” for his work as head of the House Democrats’ national campaign committee. The story only briefly mentioned his Republican opponent, Steven J. Hudson. A campaign story on both ran inside the paper.

· A Post Magazine spread on Oct. 5 about Michelle Obama, with a cover picture of the Obamas, was timed to the release of a book by Magazine writer Liza Mundy. There was no cover for John and Cindy McCain.

· Robin Givhan’s Oct. 23 column exploring the disconnect between Palin’s fancy duds and her hockey mom image ran on the Style section front just above an upbeat story about Jill Biden, the wife of Vice President-elect Joseph Biden. Conservatives thought that the placement’s message was “Bad Palin, Good Biden.”

Now Time’s Mark Halperin has chimed in.  At the Politico/USC conference on the 2008 election, he unleashed on the media’s election coverage.

“It’s the most disgusting failure of people in our business since the Iraq war,” Halperin said at a panel of media analysts. “It was extreme bias, extreme pro-Obama coverage.”

Halpering cited two NY Times articles as examples of this slant.

“The example that I use, at the end of the campaign, was the two profiles that The New York Times ran of the potential first ladies,” Halperin said. “The story about Cindy McCain was vicious. It looked for every negative thing they could find about her and it case her in an extraordinarily negative light. It didn’t talk about her work, for instance, as a mother for her children, and they cherry-picked every negative thing that’s ever been written about her.”

The story about Michelle Obama, by contrast, was “like a front-page endorsement of what a great person Michelle Obama is,” according to Halperin.

Of course, why these folks had to wait until after the election to let the public know, Douchebag Report doesn’t know.

Switch Continues Part 2

So it looks like this story is going to become a series because Obama can’t help but do everything he can to reverse every one of his campaign promises.

1. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Bait:

“We support the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and the implementation of policies to allow qualified men and women to serve openly regardless of sexual orientation.”

Switch:

Not so fast: President-elect Barack Obama will not move for months, and perhaps not until 2010, to ask Congress to end the military’s decades-old ban on open homosexuals in the ranks, two people who have advised the Obama transition team on this issue say.

2. Lobbyists

Bait:

“I’m in this race to tell the lobbyists and the big fat cats that their days of setting the agenda in Washington are over. They have not funded my campaign.  They will not work in my White House.”

Switch:

3.Iraq

Bait:

Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq: ending the war. The removal of our troops will be responsible and phased, directed by military commanders on the ground and done in consultation with the Iraqi government. Military experts believe we can safely redeploy combat brigades from Iraq at a pace of 1 to 2 brigades a month that would remove them in 16 months. That would be the summer of 2010 – more than 7 years after the war began.

Switch:

“Obama ran his campaign around the idea the war was not legitimate, but it sends a very different message when you bring in people who supported the war from the beginning,” said Kelly Dougherty, executive director of the 54-chapter Iraq Veterans Against the War.

4. Change

Bait:

change

verb, changed, chang⋅ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one’s name; to change one’s opinion; to change the course of history.

Switch:

The Clinton Administration II

JIM LEHRER: All right, speaking of the new administration, Mark, the word is today, or it’s the — the rumor is today — the word “rumor” is today that Hillary Clinton is going to be asked to be secretary of state by Barack Obama. What do you think of that?

DAVID BROOKS: I actually think that’s a good move. I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s taking the whole group.

• Transition chief John Podesta - Clinton White House Chief of Staff
• White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel - Clinton Administration Assistant to the President for Political Affairs and Senior Advisor to the President for Policy and Strategy
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton - Clinton Administration Cuckquean
• Chief of Staff of Vice President Ron Klain - Clinton Administration Chief of Staff of Vice President (Seriously?  Obama gave this guy the exact same job?  Seriously?)
• Attorney General Eric Holder - Clinton Administration Deputy Attorney General
• Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner - Clinton Administration Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs

Next Page »