What’s Wrong With Rahm?

Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s White House Chief-of-Staff, has been maintaining a low profile since the Blagojevich scandal broke. He refused to answer questions as to whether he was the Obama “advisor” in the criminal complaint against Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Emanuel was uncharacteristically absent from Obama’s news conference this morning. He was spotted two hours later in the lobby of Chicago’s City Hall. He was there to listen to his two children performing in a concert with their school, Anshe Emet.

A Sun-Times reporter pressed him to comment about whether he was the emissary named in the criminal complaint.

“You’re wasting your time,” Emanuel said. “I’m not going to say a word to you. I’m going to do this with my children. Dont do that. I’m a father. I have two kids. I’m not going to do it.”

Asked, “Can’t you do both?” Emanuel replied, “I’m not as capable as you. I’m going to be a father. I’m allowed to be a father,” and he pushed the reporter’s digital recorder away.

There is some evidence pointing to Emanuel as the Obama advisor who Blagojevich was talking to in regards to the Governor’s Senate appointment.

Blagojevch was caught on tape saying that he wanted the Obama advisor in question to know what Blagojevich wanted in exchange for the Jarrett appointment.

Blagojevich said, “He asks me for the fifth CD thing, I want it to be in his head.” Emanuel represents the 5th Congressional District in Illinois.

If this is what it’s like when Chicago comes to DC, it’s going to be a long four years.

Jackson: “Five” in Federal Investigation

Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. was “Senate Candidate 5″ in the 76-page federal complaint against Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

A lawyer for Jackson acknowledged that the Illinois Democrat is “Senate Candidate 5″ in the 76-page federal complaint filed against Blagojevich, who was arrested Tuesday. Wiretapped conversations suggest Blagojevich felt the candidate would raise campaign money for him in exchange for being appointed to the Senate seat vacated by the president-elect.

At this time, Jackson is yet not accused of any wrongdoing.

Jackson, a seven-term House member and son of civil rights activist Jesse Jackson, told reporters in Washington that he spoke with the U.S. attorney’s office Tuesday.

“They shared with me that I am not a target of the investigation and that I am not accused of any misconduct,” said Jackson, who left the crowded session without taking questions.

U.S. attorney’s spokesman Randall Samborn would not confirm or deny Jackson’s assertions.

There may be some rough waters ahead for the Congressman as this scandal continues.

Blagojevich, a second-term Democrat, is accused of scheming to enrich himself by selling Obama’s open seat for cash or a lucrative job for himself or his wife. The federal complaint says that in a wiretapped conversation on Oct. 31, Blagojevich described an approach “by an associate of Senate Candidate 5.”

The governor was quoted as saying the person made a “pay to play” proposal, a term for a payment in exchange for a political favor. “That, you know, he’d raise me 500 grand” for future political campaigns, the governor said in the wiretapped conversation.

Blagojevich went on to say, “An emissary came. Then the other guy would raise a million, if I made” Jackson a senator. The complaint did not specify whether the $500,000 and $1 million would have been raised by the same person.

Jackson said Wednesday: “I did not initiate nor authorize anyone, at any time, to promise anything to Gov. Blagojevich on my behalf. I never sent a message or an emissary to the governor to make an offer or to propose a deal about the U.S. Senate seat.”

He said he would fully cooperate with the investigation.

Jackson’s Chicago-based lawyer, James D. Montgomery Sr., said, “Politicians and fundraisers do some very strange things from time to time. I wouldn’t put it past someone to be purporting to represent Jesse without authority.”

Or strange things like purport to represent Jesse with authority…and offer a sitting governor a bag of goodies in exchange for a US Senate seat.

The H is for HUSSEIN

After it became the biggest taboo of the 2008 Presidential Election, Barak Obama is reclaiming his middle name.

US President-elect Barack Obama will try to “reboot America’s image” among the world’s Muslims and will follow tradition by using his entire name, Barack Hussein Obama, in his swearing-in ceremony, he was quoted as saying in an interview published Wednesday in the Chicago Tribune and the Los Angeles Times.

Douchebag Report readers probably remember the controversy that was aroused early in the campaign when John McCain immediately apologized for Bill Cunninghan referring to Barack Obama by his full name.

Asked afterwards if it was appropriate to use the Senator’s middle name, McCain said, “No, it is not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.”

That’s right.  John McCain considered Obama’s middle name to be disparaging of Obama, much like the term “gook” is offensive to the Vietnamese.

Now Obama thinks his middle name is actually a secret weapon in the fight for Muslim hearts.

Obama promised during his campaign that one of his priorities would be to work to repair America’s reputation worldwide, and that one element of that effort would be a speech delivered in a Muslim capital.

If only George W Bush had changed his middle name to Hussein and given a speech from a Muslim capital.  That would have fixed everything.

What Did The President-Elect Know And When Did He Know It?

The most visible product of the Chicago’s corrupt political machine, Barak Obama, was quick to distance himself from the self destruct sequence that is Illinois Governor and arrested douchebag Rod Blagojevich.

Never-the-less, we at DouchebagReport.com are a little confused as to what the President-elect knew and when he knew it.

Tuesday, Barak Obama told us he hadn’t talked to Governor Blagojevich, which would be really credible, if David Axlerod hadn’t clouded the issue.  Obama said he hadn’t had contact with the governor or his office.

Asked what contact he’d had with the governor’s office about his replacement in the Senate, President-elect Obama today said “I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not aware of what was happening.”

This would be completely credible, if David Axelrod, Obama’s senior advisor, hadn’d completely contradicted the statement back on November 23rd.

While insisting that the President-elect had not expressed a favorite to replace him, and his inclination was to avoid being a “kingmaker,” Axelrod said, “I know he’s talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them.”

Of course, Axelrod issued a statement on the evening of the December 9 contradicting himself…

Axelrod this evening issued a statement saying. “I was mistaken when I told an interviewer last month that the President-elect has spoken directly to Governor Blagojevich about the Senate vacancy. They did not then or at any time discuss the subject.”

In other words, by “yes”, Axelrod meant “no”.  In laymen’s speak, when Axelrod says “I’m not a douchebag”, he means “I am a douchebag”.

Like we said, this can be confusing, so when in doubt, assume that anyone out of Chicago, including the President-Elect, is as corrupt as possible.

Blogojevich F**king B*sted

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich f-bombed his way to prison over the last few months. The potty-mouthed politician and John Harris, his chief of staff, was arrested this morning on corruption charges related to Blagojevich’s attempt to sell the Senate Seat Barack Obama is vacating for the White House and extortion attempts against the Chicago Tribune.

Attached to the U.S. District Court complaint is an FBI affidavit, excerpted below, alleging that Blagojevich was caught on wiretaps noting that the Senate seat “is a f**king valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” He was also recorded saying that unless “I get something real good,” he would appoint himself to the vacancy. “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.” According to surreptitiously recorded conversations, Blagojevich spoke with associates about the possibility of trading the Senate post for either an ambassadorship or a Cabinet post. The politician, according to the affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Daniel Cain, “analogized his situation to that of a sports agent shopping a potential free agent to various teams.” During a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Blagojevich referred to Obama as a “motherf**ker” and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if “I don’t get anything.” Referring to Obama, Blagojevich exclaimed, “F**k him. For nothing? F**k him.” In a November 11 conversation, Blagojevich remarked that he knew Obama wanted Valerie Jarrett, a longtime confidante, to succeed him, “but they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. F**k them.”

In exchange for the Senate seat, Blagojevich was looking to optain:

•         A substantial salary for himself at a either a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions.

•         Placing his wife on corporate boards where he speculated she might garner as much as $150,000 a year.

•         Promises of campaign funds — including cash up front.

•         A cabinet post or ambassadorship for himself.

He was also considering appointing himself to the Senate for a variety of douchebag reasons:

•         Frustration at being “stuck” as governor;

•         A belief that he will be able to obtain greater resources if he is indicted as a sitting Senator as opposed to a sitting governor;

•         A desire to remake his image in consideration of a possible run for President in 2016;

•         Avoiding impeachment by the Illinois legislature;

•         Making corporate contacts that would be of value to him after leaving public office;

•         Facilitating his wife’s employment as a lobbyist;

•         And generating speaking fees should he decide to leave public office.

That’s right.  Blagojevich was just in it for the money.  Call us naive, but don’t politicians usually seek higher office for the power, then just enjoy the financial benefits as a perk afterwards?  Well, Blagojevich wanted money…and an escape from legal problems.

Also on Nov. 12, in a conversation with Harris, the complaint affidavit states that Blagojevich said his decision about the open Senate seat will be based on three criteria in the following order of importance: “Our legal situation, our personal situation, my political situation. This decision, like every other one, needs to be based upon that. Legal. Personal. Political.”

Harris said: “Legal is the hardest one to satisfy.”

Blagojevich said that his legal problems could be solved by naming himself to the Senate seat.

Not satisfied with just playing sports agent with Obama’s Senate seat, Blagojevich also went after the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board.

According to the affidavit, intercepted phone calls revealed that the Tribune Company, which owns the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Cubs, has explored the possibility of obtaining assistance from the Illinois Finance Authority relating to the Tribune Company’s efforts to sell the Cubs and the financing or sale of Wrigley Field.

In a Nov. 6 phone call, Harris explained to Blagojevich that the deal the Tribune Company was trying to get through the IFA was basically a tax mitigation scheme in which the IFA would own title to Wrigley Field and the Tribune would not have to pay capital gains tax, which Harris estimated would save the company approximately $100 million.

Intercepted calls allegedly show that Blagojevich directed Harris to inform the Tribune and an associate, identified as Tribune Financial Advisor, that state financial assistance would be withheld unless members of the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board were fired, primarily because Blagojevich viewed them as driving discussion of his possible impeachment.

In a Nov. 4 phone call, Blagojevich allegedly told Harris that he should say to Tribune Financial Advisor, the Cubs chairman and the Tribune owner, “our recommendation is fire all those [expletive] people, get ‘em the [expletive] out of there and get us some editorial support.”

On Nov. 6, the day of a Tribune editorial critical of Blagojevich , Harris told Blagojevich that he told Tribune Financial Advisor the previous day that things “look like they could move ahead fine but, you know, there is a risk that all of this is going to get derailed by your own editorial page.”

Harris also told Blagojevich that he was meeting with Tribune Financial Advisor on Nov. 10.

In a Nov. 11 intercepted call, Harris allegedly told Blagojevich that Tribune Financial Advisor talked to Tribune Owner and Tribune Owner “got the message and is very sensitive to the issue.”

Harris told Blagojevich that according to Tribune Financial Advisor, there would be “certain corporate reorganizations and budget cuts coming and, reading between the lines, he’s going after that section.”

Blagojevich allegedly responded: “Oh. That’s fantastic.”

Governor Rod Blagojevich got arrested this morning for being a douchebag?  Oh.  That’s fantastic.

Douchebag Democrat Done

Nine-term Democrat US Congressman and indicted douchebag William “Cold Cash” Jefferson lost his re-election bid on Saturday.

Republican challenger Anh “Joseph” Cao, an attorney and community organizer, defeated Jefferson in the 2nd Congressional district race. He will become the first Vietnamese-American elected to Congress.

With 100 percent of precincts reporting, Cao had almost 50 percent of the vote to Jefferson’s 47 percent.

The 2nd Congressional district, in and around New Orleans, is mostly African-American and heavily Democratic, and Jefferson appeared to be favored to win re-election going into the election.

Jefferson has been in political hot water for the since his residences were raided in 2005.

Jefferson has pleaded not guilty to 16 criminal counts of racketeering, bribery, money laundering and obstruction of justice. He denies any wrongdoing.

In 2005, Jefferson’s private homes in Washington and New Orleans were raided, and FBI agents say they found $90,000 in cash stashed in one of his freezers.

Officials say the money was part of a payment in marked bills from an FBI informant in a transaction captured on videotape. Jefferson also is accused of soliciting and receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes for himself and his family in exchange for promoting their products and services to countries in Africa.

Elections in Lousiana’s 2nd and 4th districts were delayed after Hurricane Gustav hit the state in September.

William Jefferson is no stranger to Douchebag Report readers, having made the report here, here and here.

Tonya Payne: Pittsburgh Douchebag/Typical Politician

What is worse, when government officials don’t know how America works or when they don’t care?

In most career fields, a professional is expected to know more than the average citizen.  They are also expected to abide by the code of ethics of that field.

What would you call a group of “professionals” who know less about their job than you do and will happily break the rules they are sworn to uphold?  We call them douchebags, but they generally go by the title “politicians”.

The Intercollegiate Studies Institute(ISI) revealed some interesting results from a civic knowledge exam they organized.

US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday.

Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI).

“It is disturbing enough that the general public failed ISI’s civic literacy test, but when you consider the even more dismal scores of elected officials, you have to be concerned,” said Josiah Bunting, chairman of the National Civic Literacy Board at ISI.

How ignorant were elected officials?

Asked about the electoral college, 20 percent of elected officials incorrectly said it was established to “supervise the first televised presidential debates.”

One of the most worrying responses…and probably the most relevant in these hard economic times, was to a question about economics.

The question that received the fewest correct responses, just 16 percent, tested respondents’ basic understanding of economic principles, asking why “free markets typically secure more economic prosperity than government’s centralized planning?”

So that establishes that American politicians are ignorant…but what about when they know what’s wrong and do it anyway?

Pittsburgh City Council gave its first approval today to legislation requiring that anyone report a lost or stolen firearm report that within 24 hours or potentially face a $500 fine.

The 6-1 vote, with two abstentions, sets up a final vote likely next week, which would send the legislation to Mayor Luke Ravenstahl for his signature or veto, and then potentially to the courts, where similar measures have been challenged.

“Who really cares about it being unconstitutional?” said Councilwoman Tonya Payne, a supporter. “This is what’s right to do, and if this means that we have to go out and have a court battle, then that’s fine … We have plenty of dead bodies coming up in our streets every single day, and that is unacceptable.”

Who cares about it being unconstitutional?  One would hope Payne’s constituents.  I mean, if you really want to do something about crime, regardless of the Constitution, why not send in the Army to break into every house and business, search for and seize all weapons, drugs, deviant literature, and anything else that might lead people to break the law.  Then, while you’re at it, why not quarter those troops in those homes.  They need a place to say and their presence would certainly reduce crime rates.

Tonya Payne represents City Council District 6.

Council District 6 includes the Hill District, Downtown, Uptown, the Strip District, Manchester, Central Northside, California-Kirkbride, and Allegheny West, as well as parts of West Oakland, South Oakland, and Fineview.

Feel free to let Tonya Payne know that you care about what’s constitutional here.

(Hat Tip to DB3)

UN Climate Talks To Produce More Hot Air

If you think doing nothing about global climate change will lead to global warming, you should see how bad doing something about it is.  A global conference called the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, being held in Poland from December 1-12, is expected to create 13,000 tonnes of carbon.

That estimate is based on a turnout of 8,000 people, but as of Sunday 10,657 people had registered for the talks.

Poland, which is hosting the meeting, “plans to offset the total emissions resulting from the conference once a final calculation has been made,” the UNFCCC said.

Under offsets, anyone emitting carbon can invest in a scheme that mitigates the pollution by the same amount.

If you really want to do something about carbon emissions, just stop breathing.

Who’s Going To Take Hillary’s Senate Seat?

Among the people NY Governor and blind philanderer David Patterson is looking at to fill Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat is…William Jefferson Clinton. Patterson gets to appoint someone to fill Hillary’s seat for two years until a special election in November 2010.

“This is not an election. This is not a campaign. It’s a constituency of one. David Paterson. It’s all about what the governor wants to do,” said political analyst Stuart Rothenberg, editor and publisher of The Rothenberg Political Report.

“Paterson has said he would prefer someone from upstate New York, or a woman or an Hispanic candidate,” Rothenberg said.

As for some of the more unconventional picks, Rothenberg said Paterson could “try to make a splash with a big name like Robert Kennedy Jr.” or a “quirky interesting pick” of someone like Caroline Kennedy, who is not a politician.

Well, there’s no bigger splash that could be made aside from throwing “Bubba” into the Senate.

But some are suggesting the former president should take his wife’s seat.

In an op-ed column last week in The Washington Post, journalists Karl Meyer and Shareen Blair Brysac urged Paterson to “send Bill Clinton to the Senate.”

If that happened, Clinton would become the third former president to go from the White House to Capitol Hill.

President John Quincy Adams lost his re-election bid in 1828. Two years later he returned to Washington after winning election as a congressman from his home state of Massachusetts. He served in the House of Representatives until his death in 1848.

President Andrew Johnson also served as a Senator from Tennessee in 1875, 7 years after the Senate acquitted him of impeachment charges. He died a few months after taking office.

Bill Clinton would bring gravitas to the job, and he obviously knows his way around Washington.

But some Democratic strategists who used to work for Bill Clinton don’t think the former president would want to go from leader of the free world to being the junior senator from New York. Clinton’s office deferred to Paterson’s office when asked for a comment.

I’m sure that Clinton Administration Cuckquean Hillary would prefer Bill have a job that keeps him tied down, rather than having him running around with a lot of free time on his hands.

Democrat Voter Logic

 

Senate hopeful Al Franken seems to have taken a lesson from Al Gore. The lesson learned is that voters who are too dumb to vote are decidedly voting Democrat. At least, that’s what each of Franken’s post-election actions would lead one to believe. It is no secret that Franken wishes to continue the recount battle until each and every rejected ballot is “found,” assuring a Democrat victory in Minnesota. 

 

As it happens, there are about 12,000 absentee votes that were rejected. On top of that, there are another 5,000 ballots that are being challenged in this election. Now, why were these ballots rejected? Rick Moran of American Thinker writes:

Some people voted for both candidates. Others were not signed as required by law of all absentee ballots. Still others made no selection at all or their intent was unclear.

So, a brief analysis of Al Franken logic would lead one to believe that if you (a) voted for both candidates, (b) did not legitimize your ballot, or (c) voted for neither candidate, you still voted Democrat. Doesn’t this sound a lot like the other big “Al” who refused to concede an election, despite other monumental victories such as inventing the Internet and global warming?

Much scarier than that, Al Franken may turn to the Liberal-heavy Senate itself to decide his fate as a candidate:

The board’s decision drew a response from the Senate’s top Democrat, Majority Leader Harry Reid, who called it a “cause for great concern.”

“As the process moves forward, Minnesota authorities must ensure that no voter is disenfranchised,” Reid said in a statement. “A citizen’s right to have his or her vote counted is fundamental in our democracy.”

The Senate has in rare cases inserted itself into elections, including a 1996 Louisiana race and a 1974 New Hampshire contest. The body has the power to determine its members’ qualifications.

This effectively means that the Democrats have the ability to bypass the legitimate popular vote of Minnesota, placing Al Franken into the Senate regardless of the previous failed recount attempts. A decision such as this could put the Democrats ever closer to a “super majority,” enabling them to block GOP filibuster attempts. Rick Moran summarizes nicely:

I wouldn’t put it past Reid or any other Democrat to pull an undemocratic stunt like that.

Well, neither would we. Douchebags one and all…

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