It Takes A Village To Do Everything

In a speech at the Manchester School of Technology, Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton spoke out against the Bush administration, calling it an “‘on your own’ society that has widened the gap between the rich and poor.” She continues, “I prefer a ‘we’re all in it together’ society. . .Fairness doesn’t just happen. It requires the right government policies.” RED ALERT: Does this sound like socialism to anyone else?

“Trivialities And Nonsense”

During a promotional tour for his new book The Assault on Reason, former US vice president Al Gore criticized the “trivialities and nonsense” of issues covered in recent main stream media. Gore asked of New Yorkers gathered a Friday book signing:

“What is it about our collective decision-making process that has led us to this state of affairs where we spend much more time in the public forum talking about — or receiving information about — Britney Spears shaving her head or Paris Hilton going to jail?”

My thoughts exactly, and while we’re on the subject of “trivialities and nonsense,”  let’s trivialize the SUV-lined parking lot at your Marin County Civic Center appearance. Let’s call supporters donning Che Guevara backpacks nonsensical, and let’s dismiss the Gore-Obama 2008 bumper stickers. Click here for zombie’s tell-all pictorial with commentary. Sometimes the truth really is inconvenient.

See Mohammad Torture

U.S. forces uncovered an Al Qaeda handbook revealing rudimentary torture techniques in an illustrated format. Yet, the war on terror remains a “bumper sticker slogan” and we want to pull out of Iraq? This recent example shows that the threats are still very real, the Democrats are douchebags, and Al Qaeda are crappy artists.

So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen, F U

In a statement released by the president of Disney-ABC’s Daytime Television Group, it was announced that Rosie O’Douchebag had requested an “early leave” from the daytime yap-fest The View. Somewhere, a sole indian sheds a tear.

Le Douchebag

Hey kids, let’s watch a former national leader go to prison. It appears that long-standing rumors regarding a secret bank account held by Jacques Chirac have been confirmed:

Papers seized by two investigating magistrates from General Philippe Rondot, a former head of the DGSE, France’s intelligence service, show Mr Chirac opened an account in the mid-1990s at Tokyo Sowa Bank, credited with the equivalent of £30 million. It is not known where the money came from, nor whether it is connected to various kick-back scandals to which Mr Chirac’s name has been linked over the past decade.

Last year, Mr Chirac “categorically denied” having a bank account in Japan.

The real rub:

Mr Chirac is reported to have struck a deal with Mr Sarkozy, whereby the latter will push through judicial reforms ensuring the ex-president escapes prosecution. However, the magistrates are expected to move before the reforms are passed this summer.

Read the full Scotsman article here.

Georgia Congressman Pays $500K To Family From Campaign Funds

Rep. David Scott (D-Atlanta) has allegedly used his campaign account to pay more than $500,000 to four family members (and his family’s business), according to an investigation by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The investigation states “since 2002, Scott’s family members and business have received from the campaigh between $52,000 and $344,000 every two-year election period. While not necessarily illegal (the Federal Election Commission allows this,) this is just another example of DEMOCRATS happily spending other peoples’  money. Politics for profit - you know it.

John Edwards: War On Terror ‘Bumper Sticker’ Slogan

In a speech to the Council of Foreign Relations in New York, Democratic White House hopeful (and douchebag) John Edwards says, “The War on Terror is a slogan designed only for politics, not a strategy to make America safe. It’s a bumper sticker, not a plan.” A bumper sticker? Tell that to the friends and family of Felicia Dunn-Jones, who died of lung disease five months after she became trapped in dust caused by the collapse of the first World Trade Center. John Edwards - congratulations. You’ve made it to the douchebag report. 

Care to congratulate Mr. Edwards on his new title? Drop him a line here.

Teen Taints Salad Dressing With Sperm

17-year-old douchebag Marco Castro was ordered to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service after pleading guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct. The crime? Mr. Castro “admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom, and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch.” Read the full St. Louis Dispatch article here.

Sheik Khalid Muhammed In Captivity

 Ok, not really… but mad props to whoever came up with this Photoshop job… Click on the thumbnail to see the full-size image.

Boundless Hypocrisy

Financial disclosure statements reveal that limousine liberal John Edwards received a $55,000 honorarium for speaking at taxpayer-funded University of California at Davis campus. The topic of dicussion? “Poverty, the great moral issue facing America.” This is yet another classic example of “do as I say, not as I do” liberals attempting to rape the taxpayer cookie jar.  Remember the $400 haircuts? With money like that, he can afford to pay the electric bill at Al Gore’s Tennessee estate. Read the full SFGate politics blog here.

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