“Hillary In The House” - WTF?

Oh. My. God.

I need a drink now.

Court-Appointed Advocate Molests Children

There are some acts that are so despicable that the perpetrators of such acts do not even deserve to be dubbed Douchebags. Topping the list of this sub-class of douchebag is Texas entrepreneur Billy Dan Carroll. The 53-year-old founder of a court-reporting firm, who also served as a court-appointed advocate has been charged with aggravated sexual assault of an 8-year-old girl. But it gets worse. Much worse.

According to police, they have uncovered a number of video tapes suggesting that Carroll may be responsible for molesting as many as 20 children — as young as three years old. According to this World Net Daily article:

“We don’t know where it is going to end up, how many victims we may end up with,” Austin police Sgt. Brian Loyd said. “There could be six. There could be 20. There is no telling.”

Carroll told the girl’s parents he wanted the 8-year-old and her sisters to spend the night with his family, but he did not reveal that his wife and daughters were away for the weekend. According to the child, he asked if she wanted to play a game. Then he blindfolded her and sexually assaulted her. The little girl immediately told her sisters who were in another room following the incident.

Mr. Carroll had videotaped these acts, two of which depict him allegedly having sex with two unconscious females. The electric chair may just be too good for this guy.

Pelosi Credits Surge’s Success To IRAN

Want further proof that top Democratic leaders have lost their minds? Nancy Pelosi has stepped up to the plate with a real show-stopper, crediting the success of the Surge to none other than The Goodwill of Iran. That’s right — Goodwill of Iran. While some may see this as nothing more than absolute proof that Pelosi truly represents the moonbats of her district, most should agree that she has gone WAY over the top here, finally answering the age-old question: How will the Democrats deal with the success of the surge?

Let’s see here… We can’t give credit to Gen. Petraeus. We can’t give credit to the troops that have relentlessly fought for peace, and we most certainly cannot give credit to the Bush administration under any circumstances. So, what reads like a page from The Idiot’s Playbook, Pelosi chooses to abandon fact and common sense, crediting the success of the surge to Iran.

Here is a link to the 80 minute interview, where Pelosi talks with the San Francisco Chronicle.

Here is a link to Ace of Spades HQ with further commentary.

Hillary On The Sauce

On a flight back from Rapid City, South Dakota, Hillary Clinton took some time to throw back a few fingers of whiskey in front of sympathetic reporters. Some are suggesting that her change in temperament results from her intent to concede to Barack Obama. In any event, a picture is worth a thousand words:

Source: thisislondon.co.uk - One for the end of the road

Susan Sarandumb

Hollywood actress, activist Susan Sarandon just made the boldest, brashest, and most daring statement of her career, vowing to move to Italy or Canada if John McCain is elected President in the upcoming November 2008 election. Yawn. Shame on you Susan for thinking that anyone actually gives a crap. Who are you, anyway? This announcement was made within the confines of the United States, where you have comfortably lived throughout the entire Bush administration. I guess this makes you a bit of a hypocrite, doesn’t it.

Here’s an excerpt from this New York Times article:

[I]f John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, “It’s a critical time, but I have faith in the American people.”

OK, American people. You don’t want Susan to move out of the country, so it’s up to you to elect Barack Obama. What? You thought Susan of all people would be for Hillary Clinton? Well, no. She told John Hiscock: “I thought the whole point of feminism is that you’re not supposed to be defined by gender. I don’t understand the reasoning behind that, because I wouldn’t vote for Condoleezza Rice, and I hated Margaret Thatcher.”

How very patriotic of you to claim to have “faith in the American people,” but unpatriotically suggest that you’ll jump borders when your leftist agenda is not served in a popular election. May we suggest that you put Cuba on your short list as well? According to Michael Moore, they have unparalleled medical services. You’ll undoubtedly need affordable elder-care as you hobble towards the washed-up Hollywood hag phase of your life.

Arrividerci, bitch!

Ex-Ohio Attorney General Refers To Penis As ‘Bull’

The story of Marc Dann, now EX-Ohio Attorney General keeps getting better and better. First, we learned of a sex scandal in which the married father of three had an affair with his staff scheduler. We then learned that he resigned amidst nine articles of impeachment levied by the Democratic legislature. Originally, he had refused to resign, citing the following in email:

“I am in the office, have rolled up my sleeves and am working on behalf of the people of the state of Ohio”

Yesterday, the Attorney General’s office had released approximately 3,000 of Dann’s emails, in response to a public-records request from the Columbus Dispatch. Today, we learn that Dann had penned many more “interesting” emails, including those where his penis was referred to as a ‘Bull:’

On Aug. 22, Utovich referred to getting Dann his daily schedule, then asked, “How’s the bull?”

“It says it misses you,” the attorney general replied.

“It loves me,” she shot back.

Ack.

Assault With A Hedgehog?

Check out this latest gem from Breitbart(AP) — Uhhh… Only in New Zealand, I suppose:

A New Zealand man accused of assault with prickly weapon—a hedgehog—has been fined by a court and ordered to pay most of his fine to his teenage victim.
Whakatane District Court was told Thursday that William Singalargh picked up the hedgehog and threw it several yards to hit a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane on Feb. 9.

Police told the court the unusual assault weapon had hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks. The teen did not need medical treatment.

ASPCA Alert:

It was not known whether the hedgehog was dead or alive at the time of the attack, but Senior Sgt. Bruce Jenkins said earlier that it was dead when collected as evidence.

Now we have an injured teen AND a dead hedgehog. Lucky for the hedgehog, however. If he had made it out alive, he likely would have been sued by the boy’s parents.

Sharon Stoned

Sharon Stone, actress best known for slutting-up the early 90’s flick Basic Instinct has made another “off the wall” comment that has gained global attention. In her most recent attempt to prove that Hollywood is truly out of touch with reality, she claimed that the horrific earthquake in China may have been caused by “karma,” referencing China’s treatment of Tibet.

Today, we’ve learned that the 50-year-old celibritramp has apologized, offering to help with relief efforts. She also offered up this apology:

“My erroneous words and deeds angered and saddened the Chinese people, and I sincerely apologise for this,” she said in a statement issued by Dior China and sent to AFP on Thursday.

Sincerely apologize? No doubt. This has to be in response to the global “stoning” that followed her remark. For starters, Christian Dior dropped her from all Chinese ads and marketing campaigns that contain her likeness. In addition, many stateside theaters are also beginning to boycott her films. Needless to say, many more people — several hundred thousand in fact are angered, saying they would “never forgive” Stone for her remarks. Now THAT’S karma!

Obama’s Family History Gaffe

Earlier this month, we got a civics lesson from presidential hopeful Barack Obama, when he claimed to have campaigned in 57 states, with at least one more to go. Since Obama doesn’t have a grasp on geography, it seems only natural that he wouldn’t quite have a handle on modern history or even family lineage. This latest campaign gaffe comes to us in the form of a Memorial Day speech given in Las Cruces, New Mexico, where he claimed to have an uncle that had helped first liberate the Auschwitz concentration camp at the end of World War II.

The Republican National Committee was quick to point out the two major flaws of this account: It was the Soviet Army (not US forces) that liberated Auschwitz, and Barack’s mother was an only child. Doh!

Alright, now let’s sit back and watch Obama staff slip out of this one:

As the Republican National Committee seized on the discrepancies, Obama’s campaign clarified that the Illinois senator was actually referring to his “great uncle,” and that he had confused Auschwitz with another concentration camp. The campaign said he meant to refer to Ohrdruf, a sub-camp of the Buchenwald concentration camp in Germany.

“Senator Obama’s family is proud of the service of his grandfather and uncles in World War II — especially the fact that his great uncle was a part of liberating one of the concentration camps at Buchenwald,” Obama spokesman Bill Burton said in a statement. “Yesterday he mistakenly referred to Auschwitz instead of Buchenwald in telling of his personal experience of a soldier in his family who served heroically.”

The campaign said his great uncle, Charlie Payne, served in the 89th Infantry Division, and that the unit was among those to liberate Ohrdruf on April 4, 1945.

OK, well maybe that’s plausible. However, there’s still no excuse for not knowing how many states you intend to represent. Hey Obama, how many inches are there in a gallon?

Douchebag Parents To Sue Little League

If you’re starving for another frivolous lawsuit, the parents of Steven Domalewski have filed suit against the manufacturers of the Louisville Slugger aluminum bat, The Sports Authority, and Little League Baseball.

In a tragic accident, 12-year-old Steven Domalewski was hit in the chest with a line drive, causing his heart to stop for 15 minutes. Steven now has permanent brain damage stemming from the incident.

According to this FoxNews article:

The family contends metal baseball bats are inherently unsafe for youth games because the ball comes off them much faster than from wooden bats.

No one will question the horrible incident, but is it fair to blame Little League Baseball for the injury? Clearly, this is a case of money-grubbing parents making an effort to capitalize on their son’s injury. Eh. Douchebags!

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