Douchebag Breeding Alert

Newsweek warns that the Obama election could trigger a mini-baby boom nine months from now.

The theory goes that Barak Obama was born on August 4, 1961, about 9 months after John F Kennedy was elected and that the Obama election will lead to progressives deciding to bring children into the world now that their Messiah is going to be President.

Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed “Obama Babies” : children “conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex.” “If the amount of alcohol, happy people and major functions on election night is any indication, I suspect we’ll indeed see a boom,” says 25-year-old Brandon Mendelson, a graduate student in Albany, N.Y., who says he changed his vote at the last minute because “I wanted to be able to tell our future children that we voted for Obama.”

Doctors are already preparing for an increase.

The mood of the country and the optimism about leadership is always somewhat related to birth rates,” says Dr. Manny Alvarez, chief of reproductive science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. “I’m gearing up for a healthy increase.”

No word if Planned Parenthood is preparing for a booming business in the coming months.  After all these are Obama supporters we’re talking about.  There’s no reason they should be “punished with a baby” for their euphoric mistakes.

Jeffrey P. Rosato: Pedophile Douchebag

Jeffrey Rosato, a senior aide to Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), was fired from his post last Friday, the same day he was arrested on charges of receiving and distributing child pornography.  He appeared in US District court on Wedneday in Alexandria, VA, but was released, on the condition that he stay away from children and computers.

According to an FBI affidavit, an unnamed person “distributed more than 600 files containing graphic images and movies of child pornography to an undercover detective that [the person] believed was a 13-year-old boy” over the course of more than 15 online chats during a three-week period in January. In that person’s computer, the FBI found information suggesting the person had exchanged pornography with Rosato.

Investigators also found pornographic photos and movies of children on Rosato’s laptop computer during a Nov. 4 search of his Alexandria home, according to the affidavit. “Many of the images and videos depict prepubescent boys engaged in sexual acts,” it said.

So that’s nice…

Rosato has retained criminal defense lawyer Patrick N. Anderson as his attorney. Anderson apparently specializes in defending sex criminals and terrorists.

If Rosato’s douchebag credentials were in any doubt, he started his work in the Senate working for certified douchebag Senator Robert “The Torch” Torricelli (D-NJ), who did not seek reelection when a campaign finance scandal tied him to a Chinese businessman with North Korean connections and was later caught using his campaign money to fund his post-Senate lobbying career.

In October, a Senate aide for Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA), James Michael McHaney was sentenced to 3 years for Federal charges of child porn possessions.

Perhaps these two “rippers” can be cellmates…

*UPDATE*

Maybe they’re not pedophiles.  Maybe they’re actually terrorists…