How Obama Got Elected

Kudos to John Ziegler for helping to reveal what a bunch of ignorant douchebags most Obama voters are.  In this video, he interviewed a number of Obama voters on Election Day.

Here are the survey results from a Zogby Poll commissioned by Ziegler:

Zogby Poll

512 Obama Voters 11/13/08-11/15/08 MOE +/- 4.4 points

97.1% High School Graduate or higher, 55% College Graduates

Results to 12 simple Multiple Choice Questions

57.4% could NOT correctly say which party controls congress (50/50 shot just by guessing)

71.8% could NOT correctly say Joe Biden quit a previous campaign because of plagiarism (25% chance by guessing)

82.6% could NOT correctly say that Barack Obama won his first election by getting opponents kicked off the ballot (25% chance by guessing)

88.4% could NOT correctly say that Obama said his policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry and make energy rates skyrocket (25% chance by guessing)

56.1% could NOT correctly say Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground (25% chance by guessing).

And yet…..

Only 13.7% failed to identify Sarah Palin as the person on which their party spent $150,000 in clothes

Only 6.2% failed to identify Palin as the one with a pregnant teenage daughter

And 86.9 % thought that Palin said that she could see Russia from her “house,” even though that was Tina Fey who said that!!

Only 2.4% got at least 11 correct.

Only .5% got all of them correct. (And we “gave” one answer that was technically not Palin, but actually Tina Fey)

Check out the website at: http://howobamagotelected.com/

Study: Millennials Are Douchebags

Today’s teenagers and young adults believe that they are great people who will do great things as workers, spouses and parents, a report comparing three decades of national surveys suggests.

And these so-called Millennials or Gen Y young people may be heading for a fall when their self-esteem is punctured by reality, says psychologist Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. She examined changes from 1975 to 2006 in yearly surveys, given to thousands of high school seniors by University of Michigan researchers.

Compared with the Baby Boomers who were seniors in 1975, 12th-graders surveyed in 2006 were much more confident they’d be “very good” employees, mates and parents, and they were more self-satisfied overall, say Twenge and co-author W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia. Between half and two-thirds of the Gen Y teens gave themselves top ratings, compared with less than half in their parents’ generation. The report is in Psychological Science.

Has the nation raised a generation of douchebags?  Quite possibly.

Still, kids and young adults with big egos could create problems for others, says Roy Baumeister, a psychologist at Florida State University who has studied self-esteem. “Many people who grew up in the ’50s say, ‘Nothing I did was ever good enough for my parents.’ Now we’re seeing the pendulum swing, and you hear from coaches and teachers who have been at it a while that kids have become more fragile. They don’t take criticism well,” he says.

“Thinking you’re God’s gift to the world is nice for you. It’s a little harder for everyone else around you.”

Big Three Douchebags Arrive In Corporate Jets To Panhandle In DC

Douchebag CEOs Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler each flew to Washington, DC in corporate jets to beg Congress for a $25 billion bailout. Wagoner arrived in a $36 million aircraft to let Congress know that GM is losing $10-12 billion.  It’s estimated that the roundtrip flight to DC alone cost GM $20,000.

“This is a slap in the face of taxpayers,” said Tom Schatz, President of Citizens Against Government Waste. “To come to Washington on a corporate jet, and asking for a hand out is outrageous.”

Wagoner’s excesses are hardly alone.  Over at Ford, Alan Mulally has found a rather effective way to burn through Ford’s cash.

Ford CEO Mulally’s corporate jet is a perk included for both he and his wife as part of his employment contract along with a $28 million salary last year. Mulally actually lives in Seattle, not Detroit. The company jet takes him home and back on weekends.

Before Congress, Mulally was quick to point out the expenses he had cut in the past few years.

Mulally made his case Tuesday before the committee saying he’s cut expenses, laid-off workers and closed 17 plants.

“We have also reduced our work force by 51,000 employees in the past three years,” Mulally said.

Well, Mr. Mulally, how many autoworkers’ salaries are you burning through on jet fuel?

GM and Ford say that it is a corporate decision to have their CEOs fly on private jets and that is non-negotiable, even as the companies say they are running out of cash.

Well Detroit, do you know what is negotiable?  Whether you’re going to get a bailout.

Adolf Hitler: One-Balled Douchebag

After years of speculation, more evidence has come forward that Adolf Hitler only had one testicle.

AN extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball.

War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down.

Johan Jambor was a medic in World War 1 who treated Hitler at the Battle of the Somme.

“For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler.

“They called him the ‘Screamer’. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help’.

“His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’.”

Al Qaeda Doesn’t Think That Obama’s “Change” Is Something They Believe In

Al Qaeda Douchebag Ayman al-Zawahiri released an audio tape today attacking Obama’s policy towards Israel, contrasting Obama with Malcolm X and calling the President-elect a “House Negro”.

Zawahiri is unimpressed with Obama’s plan to pull troops out of Iraq to fight in Afghanistan.

Zawahiri condemns Obama’s plan to move troops from Iraq to Afghanistan as a policy “destined for failure before it was born” and tells Obama that “a heavy legacy of failure and crimes” awaits him.

Zawahiri also claims that by electing Barak Obama, the American people have admitted defeat in Iraq.

In related news, another Al Qaeda Douchebag, Abdullah Azam al-Saudi, was pumped full of Hellfire overnight.

Antonio Viveiros: Not A Douchebag

Readers of yesterday’s Douchebag Report, Debora Marcoccio: South Attleboro’s Douchebag, should be glad to hear that the matter of the bill has been resolved.

Antonio Viveiros, a former city councilor who does not know Wilbur, wrote a check for one penny. He says he was “irked” by the fact that the federal government can spend billions for bailouts, yet a senior citizen was threatened with a lien on her home over 1 cent.

So everything’s good, right?  Possibly, but here’s one one disturbing tidbit:

Mayor Kevin Dumas (pictured) says the whole situation was blown out of proportion.

Dumas, your city was threatening to extort a 4800% collection fee on one of South Attleboro’s residents.  We at Douchebag Report think that it’s Mayor Dumas’s distorted sense of proportion which is representative of South Attleboro government.