William Ayers: Good Enough For Obama, But Not For Canada

Former Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers may be the kind of company that Barack Obama chose to keep in Chicago, but apparently Canada sets itself higher standards.

An American education professor, one of the founders of a radical 1960s group known as the Weather Underground, which was responsible for a number of bombings in the United States in the early 1970s, was turned back at the Canadian border last night.

Dr. William Ayers, a professor of education at the University of Illinois-Chicago and a leader in educational reform, was scheduled to speak at the Centre for Urban Schooling at University of Toronto’s Ontario Institute for Studies in Education. But that appearance has now been temporarily cancelled.

“I don’t know why I was turned back,” Ayers said in an interview this morning from Chicago. “I got off the plane like everyone else and I was asked to come over to the other side. The border guards reviewed some stuff and said I wasn’t going to be allowed into Canada. To me it seems quite bureaucratic and not at all interesting … If it were me I would have let me in. I couldn’t possibly be a threat to Canada.”

“Not at all interesting”?  Then again, Ayers was more a man of action than of bureaucracy.

Ayers first rose to notoriety in the early 1970s with the Weather Underground. The group claimed responsibility for bombings at the U.S. Capitol, a Pentagon restroom and New York City police headquarters. In 1970, a townhouse in New York the group was using to build a bomb blew up.

Why wouldn’t Canada let this anti-Vietnam “activist” into its borders after letting hundreds of thousands of draft-dodgers in during the war?  Is this a snub to the President-Elect on the eve of his inauguration?  Stay tuned.

Smut Peddlers Need A Hand; Job For Feds

Everyone else is doing it, so why can’t we?  This is the question being asked by Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis when they announced Wednesday that they’ll be asking for a $5 billion federal bailout for the porn industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

But perhaps this is more of a political stunt than an actual plea for help…

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

Congress has not commented.  They’re probably a bit disappointed to find that pornography and not power is the nation’s aphrodisiac.

Blagojevich Sends Largest Available Ego To US Senate

Rod Blagojevich looked high and low for Illinois’s largest available ego and sent it to the US Capitol to serve in the Senate this morning.

As of this morning, Harry Reid did not let Roland Burris be seated on the grounds that his appointment has not received the administrative signature of Illinois’s Secretary of State.  But if and when Burris is seated, the members of what is arguably the world’s most egotistical legislative body will be taken aback by the sheer size of Burris’s ego.

The 71-year-old Burris — who often refers to himself in the third person — has never been shy about broadcasting his ambitions and loudly celebrating his achievements.

“I am a visionary,” he declared in a 2002 interview with the Sun-Times when he was running for governor, his third unsuccessful try at the job.

In a 1994 interview with the paper, during his first effort at capturing the governor’s office, Burris said his past success — he had been elected comptroller and attorney general ‹ was “divine providence” that began at age 15 when he decided to become a lawyer and officeholder.

If assuming that his political career was divinely inspired wasn’t enough of an indicator, meet Roland’s two children, son Roland and daughter Rolanda.  Yep, he named both of his children after himself, which rivals, if not trumps, Jermaine Jackson naming his son Jermajesty in sheer brazenness.

And let’s look at the tomb he has had built for himself(engraved with his life’s achievements):

We’re sure that the engravers are hard at work today, adding “US Senator 2009-” to the stonework as this goes to press.

Of course, Burris was only the third largest ego of Illinois, but the governor is otherwise occupied and Obama has just left town.

Douchebag Gets Shot For Talking During Movie

Most people know that one shouldn’t talk in a movie theater.  Others have to be educated.  It’s just a matter of finding a willing teacher.

A South Philadelphia man enraged because a father and son were talking during a Christmas showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button took care of the situation when he pulled a .380-caliber gun and shot the father, police said.

James Joseph Cialella Jr., 29, of the 1900 block of Hollywood Street is charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, and weapons violations.

We’re guessing that the talkative duo have learned their lesson.

Minnesota Hires A Clown

 

In celebration of the state’s 150th birthday, the citizens of Minnesota have hired failed comedian / failed author / failed Air America windbag Al Franken as their Senatorial desginee. 

Franken, who currently has a 225-vote lead over Republican Norm Coleman, is expected to entertain Minnesota’s estimated 5.2 million inhabitants over the next six years:

 

Democrat Al Franken will be declared the winner of the tight U.S. Senate contest in Minnesota, emerging from a ballot recount with a slim margin over Republican Norm Coleman, state officials said on Sunday.

But Coleman, the incumbent, has asked Minnesota’s supreme court to require that a few hundred additional absentee ballots be included in the recount — and he could then ask the court to investigate the contest all over again.

“At the moment, Franken has a 225-vote lead,” after the weekend counting of what were deemed the last uncounted absentee ballots, said Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie, a Democrat who oversaw the process.

Ritchie said unless the supreme court acts on Coleman’s request and orders more ballots to be counted, he will reconvene the state’s Canvassing Board on Monday to certify Franken as the winner of the November 4 contest.

Hey Minnesota, why don’t you pin the tail on this donkey: