Dems to Bieber: Save Our Asses

It’s no surprise to anyone that the Democrats are desperate – looking for any angle to get a leg-up in the November elections. This is partly why I was not surprised to learn that the Dems are leveraging the Internet popularity of none other than Justin friggin’ Bieber.

Where is the logic here? First of all, Bieber is 16 years old (so, that means he can’t vote). Second of all, Bieber is Canadian (again, can’t vote). Oh wait, I know… let’s make that our really lame, convoluted message:

“This isn’t your standard election year video of celebrities asking you to vote. . . It’s us asking you to vote for celebrities who can’t, celebrities like Justin Bieber. . . So tell your parents, your grandparents, your Facebook friends . . . of they won’t do it for you, ask them to do it for Bieber.”

WTF. Really? Well, here’s the video anyway:

OK Republicans, it’s time for a counter-strategy:  From what I recall, Gary Coleman was something of an Internet icon as well. And, due to his untimely passing this May, he will be unable to vote in the midterms. So… get the word out – Do it for Gary Coleman!

Don’t Egg Him On…

JACKSON, KY – Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the trailer park, another story of fine southun’ hospitality takes to the Internet:

A row over how his eggs had been cooked for breakfast is thought to have led a man to kill his wife, stepdaughter and three neighbours.

Stanley Neace went on a rampage with a shotgun while in his pyjamas in a trailer park in the rural east of the U.S. state of Kentucky.

Police officer Jody Sims said Neace, 47, killed his victims in two mobile homes before shooting himself at his home on Saturday.

At least she wasn’t a’ cheatin’ on him…

Excuse me Mr. President…

…does this belong to you?

Excerpt from Yahoo News:

Police briefly evacuated part of the Capitol building Monday after a powdery substance was found in the visitors’ gallery overlooking the House chamber.

Capital Police spokeswoman Kimberly Schneider said the gallery and surrounding areas were cleared “out of an abundance of caution” while police investigated the substance. It was reopened less than an hour later. Schneider said the nature of the substance was unclear but it was determined not to be hazardous.

Reporters in the House press office overlooking the chamber were also asked to move to other areas of the building, which were not affected. Schneider said there were only a few House pages in the gallery when the substance was discovered.

You may remember this little nugget from Obama’s pre-campaign blitz:

The senator who hopes to become America’s first black president has admitted using cocaine.

Barack Obama, 45, is the main challenger to Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, but an autobiography he wrote 11 years ago came back to haunt him yesterday.

In Dreams From My Father he admits using cocaine as a high school student but rejected heroin, the Washington Post reported yesterday.

‘Pot helped, and booze,’ he writes in the book. ‘Maybe a little blow when you could afford it.

…and Obama is headed into a week of heavy partying. I’m just sayin’…

Eco-Douchebag Terrorizes Discovery Channel

Silver Spring, MD – Montgomery County Police and other area law enforcement agencies have responded to reports of a gunman with an explosive affixed to his chest at Discovery Communications headquarters.

Police have identified the gunman as eco-terrorist douchebag James Jay Lee, a disturbed individual with a history of protesting Discovery over programming and other non-sensical issues.

A fellow Douchebag Report contributor and Discovery employee reported that a company-wide email had been distributed minutes after 1 PM indicating”

“we have reason to believe there is an armed gunman at One Discovery Place. All employees should seek protection in a locked office on their respective floors immediately.”

Montgomery Fire and Rescue personnel have confirmed that Lee appears to have more than one hostage,  and that no injuries have been reported as of this writing. Police are currently in negotitations with Lee, while the entire headquarters and surrounding areas are completely shut off to the public.

The man, who has been characterized as an anti-capitalist Malthusian has protested the channel to stop airing programming that promotes any form of capitalism, industrialization, or child birth. Here is a list of the wacky demands that Lee had previously posted:

The Discovery Channel MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:

1. The Discovery Channel and it’s affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn’s “My Ishmael” pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other’s inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

3. All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease. There is no sense in advertising weapons of mass-destruction anymore. Instead, talk about ways to disassemble civilization and concentrate the message in finding SOLUTIONS to solving global military mechanized conflict. Again, solutions solutions instead of just repeating the same old wars with newer weapons. Also, keep out the fraudulent peace movements. They are liars and fakes and had no real intention of ending the wars. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE! On one hand, they claim they want the wars to end, on the other, they are demanding the human population increase. World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!

4. Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is. That, and all its disgusting religious-cultural roots and greed. Broadcast this message until the pollution in the planet is reversed and the human population goes down! This is your obligation. If you think it isn’t, then get hell off the planet! Breathe Oil! It is the moral obligation of everyone living otherwise what good are they??

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

6. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don’t build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!

7. Develop shows that mention the Malthusian sciences about how food production leads to the overpopulation of the Human race. Talk about Evolution. Talk about Malthus and Darwin until it sinks into the stupid people’s brains until they get it!!

8. Saving the Planet means saving what’s left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies! You’re the media, you can reach enough people. It’s your resposibility because you reach so many minds!!!

9. Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy. Find solutions for their disasterous Ponzi-Casino economy before they take the world to another nuclear war.

10. Stop all shows glorifying human birthing on all your channels and on TLC. Stop Future Weapons shows or replace the dialogue condemning the people behind these developments so that the shows become exposes rather than advertisements of Arms sales and development!

11. You’re also going to find solutions for unemployment and housing. All these unemployed people makes me think the US is headed toward more war.

Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what’s left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture.

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human’s lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!

It is the responsiblity of everyone to preserve the planet they live on by not breeding any more children who will continue their filthy practices. Children represent FUTURE catastrophic pollution whereas their parents are current pollution. NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis. Even one child born in the US will use 30 to a thousand times more resources than a Third World child. It’s like a couple are having 30 babies even though it’s just one! If the US goes in this direction maybe other countries will too!

Also, war must be halted. Not because it’s morally wrong, but because of the catastrophic environmental damage modern weapons cause to other creatures. FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

The world needs TV shows that DEVELOP solutions to the problems that humans are causing, not stupify the people into destroying the world. Not encouraging them to breed more environmentally harmful humans.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!

I want Discovery Communications to broadcast on their channels to the world their new program lineup and I want proof they are doing so. I want the new shows started by asking the public for inventive solution ideas to save the planet and the remaining wildlife on it.