When You’re A Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail

Back in April, Senator Harry Reid revealed that freshman US Senator Barack Obama had told him, “I have a gift”.  Debate has raged since then whether he was talking about his teleprompter or his actual speaking ability, with Vice President Joe Biden a pillar of the teleprompter camp. Regardless of how terribly Obama speaks without a teleprompter, when working in unison, the two create such bliss that people lose consciousness. Whatever the issue, Obama can give a speech on it.

Fortunately for the President, he is not the only one to recognize his rhetorical present. Obamaspeech.com has been created to help the world recognize the man’s ability to say so little with so much so well.

“The Speech” has become one of Obama’s primary tools.  Whatever the issue, the Administration will create a speech to deal with it.  These speeches usually involve Obama skillfully throwing family members or the United States under the bus while beating an army of evil straw men, known as the “Those”, to death.

Whenever his Presidential campaign or Administration has faced a challenge, the writers are fired up, the teleprompters have been deployed and a rhetorical offensive is launched.

Unfortunately, what Obama doesn’t seem to comprehend is that speeches are merely marketing for solutions, not actual solutions, and marketing will only take you so far when you’re selling a flawed product.  Placing too much reliance on only one means of communication will rapidly create what advertisers call “saturation“.

Obama’s attempts to use soaring rhetoric in parts of the world where people are more interested in the substance of what he says rather than the soaring way he delivers it have left many wondering “Where’s the beef?” As the great expectations created for the American people before last year’s election fail to be realized, it’s likely that many more will find themselves asking the same thing.

Obama Finds One Last Clinton White House Employee, Puts Her To Work

We at Douchebag Report have been reporting on a distinct lack of “change” when it comes to appointees in the Obama administration.

David Brooks summed it up well when he said “I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s taking the whole group.”

Well, apparently there was someone missing from the team…until now.

Answering the phones these days for the co-chairman of President-elect Barack Obama’s transition, John D. Podesta, is none other than Betty Currie.

Emerging from retirement in southern Maryland to volunteer at Obama headquarters, Ms. Currie was the personal secretary to President Bill Clinton, who became caught up in an independent counsel investigation into his trysts with the White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Since leaving the White House, Ms. Currie, 69, has shied from publicity and kept a low profile in Hollywood, Md., where she lives with her husband, Bob, and Socks, the presidential cat, which she took with her after Mr. Clinton left office.

Ms. Currie, who works with local nonprofit organizations and serves on the Alcohol Beverage Board of St. Mary’s County, declined to discuss her work for Mr. Obama or her recent life, citing a transition office policy against volunteers giving interviews.

Compelled to testify to a grand jury five times about Mr. Clinton’s relationship with Ms. Lewinsky, Ms. Currie is widely admired in Clinton circles for her loyalty and effectiveness.

Mr. Podesta, who was Mr. Clinton’s last White House chief of staff, said it was natural for him to call Ms. Currie back to service.

“Of course I asked her because in the 30 years we have worked together, I have never known anyone with more grace, dedication and public spirit than Betty,” he said. “And she has one mean Rolodex.”

Are you a Clinton White House veteran?  Are you not working for the Obama White House?  Well, we’re sure they desperately want to hear from you.

Switch Continues Part 2

So it looks like this story is going to become a series because Obama can’t help but do everything he can to reverse every one of his campaign promises.

1. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Bait:

“We support the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and the implementation of policies to allow qualified men and women to serve openly regardless of sexual orientation.”

Switch:

Not so fast: President-elect Barack Obama will not move for months, and perhaps not until 2010, to ask Congress to end the military’s decades-old ban on open homosexuals in the ranks, two people who have advised the Obama transition team on this issue say.

2. Lobbyists

Bait:

“I’m in this race to tell the lobbyists and the big fat cats that their days of setting the agenda in Washington are over. They have not funded my campaign.  They will not work in my White House.”

Switch:

3.Iraq

Bait:

Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq: ending the war. The removal of our troops will be responsible and phased, directed by military commanders on the ground and done in consultation with the Iraqi government. Military experts believe we can safely redeploy combat brigades from Iraq at a pace of 1 to 2 brigades a month that would remove them in 16 months. That would be the summer of 2010 – more than 7 years after the war began.

Switch:

“Obama ran his campaign around the idea the war was not legitimate, but it sends a very different message when you bring in people who supported the war from the beginning,” said Kelly Dougherty, executive director of the 54-chapter Iraq Veterans Against the War.

4. Change

Bait:

change

verb, changed, chang⋅ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one’s name; to change one’s opinion; to change the course of history.

Switch:

The Clinton Administration II

JIM LEHRER: All right, speaking of the new administration, Mark, the word is today, or it’s the — the rumor is today — the word “rumor” is today that Hillary Clinton is going to be asked to be secretary of state by Barack Obama. What do you think of that?

DAVID BROOKS: I actually think that’s a good move. I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s taking the whole group.

• Transition chief John Podesta – Clinton White House Chief of Staff
• White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel – Clinton Administration Assistant to the President for Political Affairs and Senior Advisor to the President for Policy and Strategy
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – Clinton Administration Cuckquean
• Chief of Staff of Vice President Ron Klain – Clinton Administration Chief of Staff of Vice President (Seriously?  Obama gave this guy the exact same job?  Seriously?)
• Attorney General Eric Holder – Clinton Administration Deputy Attorney General
• Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner – Clinton Administration Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs