Blagojevich Sends Largest Available Ego To US Senate

Rod Blagojevich looked high and low for Illinois’s largest available ego and sent it to the US Capitol to serve in the Senate this morning.

As of this morning, Harry Reid did not let Roland Burris be seated on the grounds that his appointment has not received the administrative signature of Illinois’s Secretary of State.  But if and when Burris is seated, the members of what is arguably the world’s most egotistical legislative body will be taken aback by the sheer size of Burris’s ego.

The 71-year-old Burris — who often refers to himself in the third person — has never been shy about broadcasting his ambitions and loudly celebrating his achievements.

“I am a visionary,” he declared in a 2002 interview with the Sun-Times when he was running for governor, his third unsuccessful try at the job.

In a 1994 interview with the paper, during his first effort at capturing the governor’s office, Burris said his past success — he had been elected comptroller and attorney general ‹ was “divine providence” that began at age 15 when he decided to become a lawyer and officeholder.

If assuming that his political career was divinely inspired wasn’t enough of an indicator, meet Roland’s two children, son Roland and daughter Rolanda.  Yep, he named both of his children after himself, which rivals, if not trumps, Jermaine Jackson naming his son Jermajesty in sheer brazenness.

And let’s look at the tomb he has had built for himself(engraved with his life’s achievements):

We’re sure that the engravers are hard at work today, adding “US Senator 2009-” to the stonework as this goes to press.

Of course, Burris was only the third largest ego of Illinois, but the governor is otherwise occupied and Obama has just left town.

Switch Continues Part 2

So it looks like this story is going to become a series because Obama can’t help but do everything he can to reverse every one of his campaign promises.

1. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Bait:

“We support the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and the implementation of policies to allow qualified men and women to serve openly regardless of sexual orientation.”

Switch:

Not so fast: President-elect Barack Obama will not move for months, and perhaps not until 2010, to ask Congress to end the military’s decades-old ban on open homosexuals in the ranks, two people who have advised the Obama transition team on this issue say.

2. Lobbyists

Bait:

“I’m in this race to tell the lobbyists and the big fat cats that their days of setting the agenda in Washington are over. They have not funded my campaign.  They will not work in my White House.”

Switch:

3.Iraq

Bait:

Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq: ending the war. The removal of our troops will be responsible and phased, directed by military commanders on the ground and done in consultation with the Iraqi government. Military experts believe we can safely redeploy combat brigades from Iraq at a pace of 1 to 2 brigades a month that would remove them in 16 months. That would be the summer of 2010 – more than 7 years after the war began.

Switch:

“Obama ran his campaign around the idea the war was not legitimate, but it sends a very different message when you bring in people who supported the war from the beginning,” said Kelly Dougherty, executive director of the 54-chapter Iraq Veterans Against the War.

4. Change

Bait:

change

verb, changed, chang⋅ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one’s name; to change one’s opinion; to change the course of history.

Switch:

The Clinton Administration II

JIM LEHRER: All right, speaking of the new administration, Mark, the word is today, or it’s the — the rumor is today — the word “rumor” is today that Hillary Clinton is going to be asked to be secretary of state by Barack Obama. What do you think of that?

DAVID BROOKS: I actually think that’s a good move. I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s taking the whole group.

• Transition chief John Podesta – Clinton White House Chief of Staff
• White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel – Clinton Administration Assistant to the President for Political Affairs and Senior Advisor to the President for Policy and Strategy
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – Clinton Administration Cuckquean
• Chief of Staff of Vice President Ron Klain – Clinton Administration Chief of Staff of Vice President (Seriously?  Obama gave this guy the exact same job?  Seriously?)
• Attorney General Eric Holder – Clinton Administration Deputy Attorney General
• Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner – Clinton Administration Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs

Mark Ritchie: Minnesotan Douchebag

Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie is attempting to make Katherine Harris look good by comparison as he injects as much partisanship and incompetence into the vote counting for the election between Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.) and Democrat Al Franken.

Asked about the Coleman campaign’s criticism of the recanvassing process, Ritchie said: “Their goal is to win at any price. They’ve invested millions and millions of dollars. We consider this part of the normal political rhetoric,” said Ritchie. “We’re used to the political rhetoric being amped up. That’s part of their job — to win at any price.”

Ritchie later denied making the comment at a press conference.