Christopher Ford: Sweet Potato Douchebag

When most people endure a Thanksgiving dinner that’s not up to their liking, they suck it up.

Not Christopher Ford, 46 of Indiantown, Florida.

On Thanksgiving, Christopher Ford, 46, went to his home on the 8400 block of Southeast Fern Street. When he got home he asked for something to eat, according to the report.
But Ford was upset with the meal his girlfriend fixed for him and they got into an argument in the kitchen. While arguing, Ford picked up the sweet potato pie his girlfriend had recently removed from the oven and slammed it into her face, according to the report.
Ford ran outside the rear door of the residence when the woman’s three teenagers went into the kitchen to see what the ruckus was and saw their mom with pie on her face, according to the report.

So that’s nice.

After deputies arrived, the victim was transported to Martin Memorial Hospital South to treat the burns and blisters on her neck from the hot pie, according to the report.
Later that night deputies found and arrested Ford. He was charged with domestic battery and was released on a $5,000 on Friday, said Rhonda Irons, the Martin County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson.

And that’s why Christopher Ford is a douchebag.

PETA Releases Parody Video Game

In a bid for attention that’s qualitatively inferior to just getting attractive actresses and models to get naked, PETA has released a parody of the video game Cooking Mama: World Kitchen, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals, the Unauthorized PETA Edition. From the PETA press release:

In the original version, players score points for assembling a meal. That also applies in PETA’s parody, but with this Thanksgiving dinner, players also must go through the motions of plucking the turkey’s feathers, pulling out the bird’s intestines, and cutting off the animal’s head. All the while, a demonic cleaver-wielding Mama takes delight in the agony. When the player beats the game, Mama has a change of heart and replaces her bloodlust with a craving for tofu-turkey. Along the way, players can unlock bonuses such as vegetarian Thanksgiving recipes and undercover footage from a turkey slaughterhouse. PETA also encourages players to contact Majesco to ask for a “Cooking Mama” game with all vegetarian recipes.

Do you know what makes undercover footage from a turkey slaughterhouse look appetizing?

Vegetarian Thanksgiving recipes.