Pimps Up, ACORN Down

For those of you who have been sharing a cave with Charlie Gibson this past week, ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) got itself in a little bit of trouble giving financial advice to James O’Keefe, 25, and Hannah Giles, 20, who posed as a pimp and his ho in its Baltimore, Washington and Brooklyn offices.

Now it looks like these allegations, combined with investigations into ACORN voter registration fraud, have forced the US government to pull their funding for the organization.  The organization has received $53 million from the American taxpayer since 1994, but with Obama in the white House, their exploitation of the American people was only just beginning…until now.

This is an opportunity for the United States Senate to stand up and say ‘Enough is enough’ just as the Census Bureau did,” said Republican Senator Mike Johanns, the measure’s sponsor.

The bill includes $165 million for housing-counseling programs and $4 billion to help poor communities weather the worst recession since the 1930s.

ACORN said the Senate’s action was disappointing but would have little impact on its overall operations.

That’s right, ACORN loses out on $4 BILLION and says that it won’t effect its operations.

“The only real victims of today’s vote are the families who have benefited from ACORN’s important work,” ACORN chief Bertha Lewis said in a statement posted on the group’s website.

So take a moment to think about those poor underage girls who won’t be trafficked from Latin America to turn tricks in ACORN-assisted, taxpayer-funded brothels.

The Southern Poverty Law Center: Mostly Full Of It Or Completely Full Of It?

Mark Potok, head of the Intelligence Project of the Southern Poverty Law Center, released a report last week outlining a new threat.

The anti-government militia movement is “surging” across the country, fueled by a changing demographic in the country, the spread of conspiracy theories in mainstream media outlets and fear of a black man in the White House, according to a new report from the Southern Poverty Law Center.

These militias are concentrated in the Midwest, Pacific Northwest and the Deep South, according to Mark Potok, an SPLC staff director who co-wrote the report, the Associated Press says.

Now, we know what you’re thinking:  Douchebag Report, isn’t that the same Mark Potok, the Chicken Little at the Huffington Post, who is always freaking out about Ann Coulter?

The same.

But doesn’t Potok’s obvious agenda risk tainting his work? Possibly, but if Potok is good enough for ABC, CBS and MSNBC, then he should be good enough for the rest of us.

One only needs to look at the case of Dyron L. Hart to see an example of white supremacy rearing its ugly head.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office says 20-year-old Dyron L. Hart of Poplarville pleaded guilty Wednesday in federal court to making a threat in November 2008.

Hart admitted creating a name [Colten Brodoux] and using a white supremacists’ photo to pose as a white man who planned to kill blacks because Barack Obama had been elected president.

He originally was charged with threatening three black students at Nicholls State — where he had attended one semester — but pleaded guilty Wednesday to one count.

This case fits Potok’s narrative almost perfectly.  The only problem is that Dyron L. Hart is African-American.

Obama’s Illegal Warrantless Surveillance Program: Laws “Are Stubborn Things”

Someone in the Obama White House broke the law on Tuesday.  Now, the White House is no stranger to violations of the law, most famously with the Watergate, Iran-Contra, Monica-gate, Plame-gate and Gates-Gate scandals.  What’s interesting about this crime is that it took place on the White House blog.

In a post titled “Facts Are Stubborn Things”, Macon Phillips attacked Internet rumors about Obamacare and asked Obama supporters to snitch on any email or web content that doesn’t tow the party line.

Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.

David Hardy posted about this in the blog “Of Arms & The Law”.

Evan Coyne Maloney suggests the request may be illegal under the Privacy Act and the Dept of Justice’s statement about its purpose.

As a recovering bureaucrat, I can point to a much, much, bigger illegality under that Act.

5 US Code §552a(e)(7) commands that any Federal agency

“(7) maintain no record describing how any individual exercises rights guaranteed by the First Amendment unless expressly authorized by statute or by the individual about whom the record is maintained or unless pertinent to and within the scope of an authorized law enforcement activity;”

Persons posting to the web or sending emails are exercising First Amendment rights. I can’t see how gathering this information is expressly authorized by statute, nor within the scope of an LE activity. It doesn’t get much clearer than that.

This presents a Catch-22 for the Administration. FOX News analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano explained the trap the White House set for itself.

“The White House is in bit of a conundrum because of this privacy statute that prohibits the White House from collecting data and storing it on people who disagree with it,” Judge Andrew Napolitano, a FOX News analyst, said Friday.

“There’s also a statute that requires the White House to retain all communications that it receives. It can’t try to rewrite history by pretending it didn’t receive anything,” he said.

“If the White House deletes anything, it violates one statute. If the White House collects data on the free speech, it violates another statute.”

The White House claims it is not collecting an “enemies list”, but skepticism is abound.

The White House Thursday denied that it was playing “Big Brother.”

“Nobody is collecting names,” White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said. “We have seen, and as I’ve discussed from this podium, a lot of misinformation around health care reform, a lot of it spread, I think, purposefully.”

Texas Sen. John Cornyn, who has called on Obama to end the program, rejected the White House explanation.

“Of course the White House is collecting names,” he said, arguing that anyone with access to the e-mail account has access to private information.

“The question is not what the White House is doing, but how and why,” he said. “How are they purging names and e-mail addresses from this account to protect privacy? Why do they need the forwarded e-mails, names, and ‘casual conversations’ sent to them instead of just the arguments that they want to rebut?

Well, we at Douchebag Report feel that we’re nothing if not fishy (probably not using enough of our namesake), so feel free to send links from our site to flag@whitehouse.gov. We could use the hits.  Or Vodkapundit has another, more creative idea.

When All Else Fails: Beat A Dead Horse

One can almost imagine a brainstorming session at the White House last week as Obama realized that he was struggled to sell his health care reform plan to the nation…

“Well, we should go with what works, right?  Have the President give a speech or a press conference.  That’s always works for him in the past.”

“Well, duh!  But we’re going to need something more…”

“We could always blame Bush.”

“Of course.  Blame Bush.  It never fails!”

Why Obama thought he could find a way to blame his floundering effort to socialize health care on former President Bush we don’t know, but the Washington Times has documented his efforts.

With the former president lying low in Dallas, largely focused on crafting his memoirs, Mr. Obama has increasingly attempted to exploit Mr. Bush when discussing the weak economy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the difficulty closing the military prison at U.S. Naval Base Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

What is interesting is that Obama apparently realizes the shallowness of putting the nation’s current problems on George W. Bush personally.

Mr. Obama hardly ever refers to Mr. Bush by name. In fact, his Web site, whitehouse.gov, recently scrubbed the name of the former president out of a reference to Hurricane Katrina, which once read: “President Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.”

Now, the “President Bush” is gone.

Although Mr. Obama’s effort is subtle, his rhetoric is clear. On his first trip overseas, Mr. Obama referred to Mr. Bush’s foreign policy and said the United States has “shown arrogance” and been “dismissive, even derisive.” He said decisions of the past had “lowered our standing in the world.”

In fact, given Obama’s resentment of his “inheritance”, one may wonder why he’d want to take the job at all.

Democratic Party strategist and irony-oblivious douchebag Liz Chadderdon supports the White House effort.

“I think Bush-bashing has been alive and well since ‘07 and, since it keeps working, why not use it?” she said. “Voters have short memories. The administration needs to remind people that things were way worse over the last four years than in the last six months.”

The last four years were worse than the last six months?  In the last six months, the American economy has lost 2.5 million jobs and Obama’s $787 billion stimulus/recovery/”massive handout to Democrat interests”/”whatever it’s being called these days” bill has done nothing to improve things.  Given the choice of living in 2007 or 2009, what would most Americans pick, Liz?  How long is your memory?

Waters: Rahm’s Chickens Coming Home

The Hill reports that Representative Maxine Waters, a liberal California Democrat, places the blame for Barack Obama’s difficulty passing health care on Rahm Emanuel.

Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) blamed now-White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel’s work as head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC), during which he worked to recruit many centrist candidates, resulting in landslide Democratic victories, for difficulties facing House leaders trying to pass reform legislation.

“That may be difficult for Rahm Emanuel, because remember, he recruited most of them,” Waters said during an interview on MSNBC when asked if the White House could lean on centrist, Blue Dog Democrats to pass reform legislation.

“Now the chickens have come home to roost,” she added.

Of course, Waters doesn’t explain how recruiting more liberal candidates to run in conservative districts would land the Democrats a House majority in the first place.  If she thinks Blue Dog Democrats are an impediment to Obama’s liberal agenda, then would she prefer Republicans?  And why do crazy liberals keep talking about chickens roosting?

Blogojevich F**king B*sted

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich f-bombed his way to prison over the last few months. The potty-mouthed politician and John Harris, his chief of staff, was arrested this morning on corruption charges related to Blagojevich’s attempt to sell the Senate Seat Barack Obama is vacating for the White House and extortion attempts against the Chicago Tribune.

Attached to the U.S. District Court complaint is an FBI affidavit, excerpted below, alleging that Blagojevich was caught on wiretaps noting that the Senate seat “is a f**king valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” He was also recorded saying that unless “I get something real good,” he would appoint himself to the vacancy. “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.” According to surreptitiously recorded conversations, Blagojevich spoke with associates about the possibility of trading the Senate post for either an ambassadorship or a Cabinet post. The politician, according to the affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Daniel Cain, “analogized his situation to that of a sports agent shopping a potential free agent to various teams.” During a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Blagojevich referred to Obama as a “motherf**ker” and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if “I don’t get anything.” Referring to Obama, Blagojevich exclaimed, “F**k him. For nothing? F**k him.” In a November 11 conversation, Blagojevich remarked that he knew Obama wanted Valerie Jarrett, a longtime confidante, to succeed him, “but they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. F**k them.”

In exchange for the Senate seat, Blagojevich was looking to optain:

•         A substantial salary for himself at a either a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions.

•         Placing his wife on corporate boards where he speculated she might garner as much as $150,000 a year.

•         Promises of campaign funds — including cash up front.

•         A cabinet post or ambassadorship for himself.

He was also considering appointing himself to the Senate for a variety of douchebag reasons:

•         Frustration at being “stuck” as governor;

•         A belief that he will be able to obtain greater resources if he is indicted as a sitting Senator as opposed to a sitting governor;

•         A desire to remake his image in consideration of a possible run for President in 2016;

•         Avoiding impeachment by the Illinois legislature;

•         Making corporate contacts that would be of value to him after leaving public office;

•         Facilitating his wife’s employment as a lobbyist;

•         And generating speaking fees should he decide to leave public office.

That’s right.  Blagojevich was just in it for the money.  Call us naive, but don’t politicians usually seek higher office for the power, then just enjoy the financial benefits as a perk afterwards?  Well, Blagojevich wanted money…and an escape from legal problems.

Also on Nov. 12, in a conversation with Harris, the complaint affidavit states that Blagojevich said his decision about the open Senate seat will be based on three criteria in the following order of importance: “Our legal situation, our personal situation, my political situation. This decision, like every other one, needs to be based upon that. Legal. Personal. Political.”

Harris said: “Legal is the hardest one to satisfy.”

Blagojevich said that his legal problems could be solved by naming himself to the Senate seat.

Not satisfied with just playing sports agent with Obama’s Senate seat, Blagojevich also went after the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board.

According to the affidavit, intercepted phone calls revealed that the Tribune Company, which owns the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Cubs, has explored the possibility of obtaining assistance from the Illinois Finance Authority relating to the Tribune Company’s efforts to sell the Cubs and the financing or sale of Wrigley Field.

In a Nov. 6 phone call, Harris explained to Blagojevich that the deal the Tribune Company was trying to get through the IFA was basically a tax mitigation scheme in which the IFA would own title to Wrigley Field and the Tribune would not have to pay capital gains tax, which Harris estimated would save the company approximately $100 million.

Intercepted calls allegedly show that Blagojevich directed Harris to inform the Tribune and an associate, identified as Tribune Financial Advisor, that state financial assistance would be withheld unless members of the Chicago Tribune’s editorial board were fired, primarily because Blagojevich viewed them as driving discussion of his possible impeachment.

In a Nov. 4 phone call, Blagojevich allegedly told Harris that he should say to Tribune Financial Advisor, the Cubs chairman and the Tribune owner, “our recommendation is fire all those [expletive] people, get ‘em the [expletive] out of there and get us some editorial support.”

On Nov. 6, the day of a Tribune editorial critical of Blagojevich , Harris told Blagojevich that he told Tribune Financial Advisor the previous day that things “look like they could move ahead fine but, you know, there is a risk that all of this is going to get derailed by your own editorial page.”

Harris also told Blagojevich that he was meeting with Tribune Financial Advisor on Nov. 10.

In a Nov. 11 intercepted call, Harris allegedly told Blagojevich that Tribune Financial Advisor talked to Tribune Owner and Tribune Owner “got the message and is very sensitive to the issue.”

Harris told Blagojevich that according to Tribune Financial Advisor, there would be “certain corporate reorganizations and budget cuts coming and, reading between the lines, he’s going after that section.”

Blagojevich allegedly responded: “Oh. That’s fantastic.”

Governor Rod Blagojevich got arrested this morning for being a douchebag?  Oh.  That’s fantastic.

Switch Continues Part 2

So it looks like this story is going to become a series because Obama can’t help but do everything he can to reverse every one of his campaign promises.

1. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Bait:

“We support the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and the implementation of policies to allow qualified men and women to serve openly regardless of sexual orientation.”

Switch:

Not so fast: President-elect Barack Obama will not move for months, and perhaps not until 2010, to ask Congress to end the military’s decades-old ban on open homosexuals in the ranks, two people who have advised the Obama transition team on this issue say.

2. Lobbyists

Bait:

“I’m in this race to tell the lobbyists and the big fat cats that their days of setting the agenda in Washington are over. They have not funded my campaign.  They will not work in my White House.”

Switch:

3.Iraq

Bait:

Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq: ending the war. The removal of our troops will be responsible and phased, directed by military commanders on the ground and done in consultation with the Iraqi government. Military experts believe we can safely redeploy combat brigades from Iraq at a pace of 1 to 2 brigades a month that would remove them in 16 months. That would be the summer of 2010 – more than 7 years after the war began.

Switch:

“Obama ran his campaign around the idea the war was not legitimate, but it sends a very different message when you bring in people who supported the war from the beginning,” said Kelly Dougherty, executive director of the 54-chapter Iraq Veterans Against the War.

4. Change

Bait:

change

verb, changed, chang⋅ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one’s name; to change one’s opinion; to change the course of history.

Switch:

The Clinton Administration II

JIM LEHRER: All right, speaking of the new administration, Mark, the word is today, or it’s the — the rumor is today — the word “rumor” is today that Hillary Clinton is going to be asked to be secretary of state by Barack Obama. What do you think of that?

DAVID BROOKS: I actually think that’s a good move. I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s taking the whole group.

• Transition chief John Podesta – Clinton White House Chief of Staff
• White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel – Clinton Administration Assistant to the President for Political Affairs and Senior Advisor to the President for Policy and Strategy
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – Clinton Administration Cuckquean
• Chief of Staff of Vice President Ron Klain – Clinton Administration Chief of Staff of Vice President (Seriously?  Obama gave this guy the exact same job?  Seriously?)
• Attorney General Eric Holder – Clinton Administration Deputy Attorney General
• Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner – Clinton Administration Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs

Gore To Obama: GFY

Barack Obama promised to create a White House “Climate Czar” position for Chicken Little protégé Al Gore back in April, but Gore isn’t interested in the postion.

“Former Vice President Gore does not intend to seek or accept any formal position in government,” Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider said. “He feels very strong right now that the best thing for him to do is to build support for the bold changes that we have to make to solve the climate crisis.”

Government positions don’t pay as much as international climate crusader roles do, so Gore would probably have a hard time paying for the extravagant lifestyle he has been accustomed to, let alone the “carbon offsets” required to protect the world from Gore’s consumption.