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	<title>Douchebag Report(tm)</title>
	<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com</link>
	<description>Empowering the fight against insanity</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:58:21 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Hockey Night is in Canada, So Suck It, America</title>
		<description><![CDATA[John Candy must be spinning in his grave…with an apple in his mouth…slowly on low heat…on a crude rotisserie of sorts.  War on Canada?]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2142</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>CB Antonio Cromartie Traded to Jets, NYC Planned Parenthood Now Hiring Extra Staff</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Antonio Cromartie’s reported off-field statistics are quite impressive by douchebag standards: seven children, all under six years old, to six women, in five states, and an upcoming court date regarding approximately $25K in unpaid child support.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2132</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Tiger Woods is Contrite, Chooses Sex Camp Over Golf</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Tiger Woods press conference came and went, not living up to the ESPN’s “Tiger Speaks” hype machine.  Tiger strolled out promptly at 11am eastern wearing casual a light blue collared shirt and dark blue sport coat and read from a well conceived fifteen minute script.  There were no questions asked by the charmed few [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2122</link>
			</item>
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		<title>On the Turning of the Seasons from Winter to Late Winter</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Keep these things in mind this Sunday and give the Daytona 500 a shot.  If you’re going to sit on the couch all day on Sunday and drink cheap beer anyway, then why not?  No other major sports are on, Buffalo wings are awesome, car crashes satisfy human bloodlust, and the race will be over before The Simpsons airs at 8.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2097</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Super Bowl XLIV: The Expert Douchebag Guide</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Let’s not kid ourselves and overanalyze this game.  This is a matchup between the two best quarterbacks in the NFL and the game will play as such.  The QB’s run the two most explosive offenses in the league and will undoubtedly light up the scoreboard...]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2075</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>NASCAR Calls for More Wrecks, More Fights, Kickass Retro Spoilers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[NASCAR will be implementing several key rules changes for the 2010 Sprint Cup season in an attempt to win back bored fans.  These rules changes include the decriminalization of bump drafting in turns, the allowance of more contact, and the eventual return of the classic rear spoiler.
Bump drafting is a necessary evil on superspeedways, as [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2034</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The 2010 NFL Playoffs, An Intermediate Guide</title>
		<description><![CDATA[“We’ve got a puncher’s chance like George Foreman would have a puncher’s chance.”  That kind of violent intensity has transformed an average Jets defense into the class of the NFL.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/2003</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Barney Frank Criticizes Filibuster, Does Geico Commercial</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), suggested that the Senate abandon the filibuster in a recent interview heard on Air America.
In the interview, Frank said &#8220;It&#8217;s time to shut it down . . . God didn&#8217;t create the filibuster, it&#8217;s part of the Senate rules.&#8221;
Interesting. What would Rep. Frank have said if Ted Kennedy&#8217;s old seat had [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1993</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>How Many Times Will Auntie Zeituni Vote?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BOSTON &#8212; Zeituni Onyango, illegal immigrant aunt of President Barack Obama and current resident of Massachusetts may just have an opportunity to vote in today&#8217;s Senatorial run-off election. If so, will she take MSNBC&#8217;s Ed Schultz&#8217;s advice and cheat / commit voter fraud?

Auntie Zeituni, you go girl! Ten votes are in your court &#8212; will [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1988</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Jose Offerman, the Starting Second Baseman for Your 2010 Major League Douchebag All Star Team</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Retired Red Sox and Dodgers All Star Second Baseman Jose Offerman punched an umpire in the face on Saturday (click for video).  Offerman, now the manager of the Licey Tigers Dominican Winter League squad, saw the umpire eject Licey Tigers Catcher Ronny Paulino, who also plays part-time for the AAAA-level Pittsburgh Pirates during the Dominican [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1945</link>
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