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	<title>Douchebag Report(tm)</title>
	<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com</link>
	<description>Empowering the fight against insanity</description>
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		<title>Douchebag Gets Shot For Talking During Movie</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Most people know that one shouldn't talk in a movie theater.  Others have to be educated.  It's just a matter of finding a willing teacher.
A South Philadelphia man enraged because a father and son were talking during a Christmas showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button took care of the situation when he [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1376</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Minnesota Hires A Clown</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ 

[caption id="attachment_1370" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Chuckles the Senator"][/caption]

In celebration of the state's 150th birthday, the citizens of Minnesota have hired failed comedian / failed author / failed Air America windbag Al Franken as their Senatorial desginee. 

Franken, who currently has a 225-vote lead over Republican Norm Coleman, is expected to entertain Minnesota's estimated 5.2 million inhabitants over the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1369</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Wade Sanders Wants To &#8220;Swift Boat&#8221; Your Children</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Remember John Kerry, the Democrat Presidential candidate who served in Vietnam to further his political career before realizing that his political fortunes would be better served by protesting against the war he spent six months fighting?

Well, one of his Swift Boat shipmates seems to have gotten himself into a little trouble using the Internet.
A [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1365</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Chevrolet Finds New Way To Fail</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ As the scene of America's greatest loss against its Japanese competition, one might assume that Hawaii might take a live-and-let-live attitude towards our Asian competitors.

Not for one Hawaiian Chevrolet dealership.
Island Chevrolet general sales manager James Severtson arranged for a Chevrolet Suburban SUV outfitted with massive tires costing $5,000 apiece to drive over a Honda [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1360</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Hiram Monserrate: Queens City Douchebag</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Hiram Monserrate is apparently a douchebag's douchebag, a douchebag that other douchebags look at and say "Now THAT guy is a real douchebag!!!"
Hot-tempered city councilman Hiram Monserrate was accused of slashing his girlfriend's face with broken glass Friday, leaving her with 20 stitches and a black eye.
What's worse, he even shows up to court [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1356</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Al Qaeda Prepares To Invade Facebook</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Is nothing sacred?  After infesting Youtube and other sites, online jihadists are preparing to infect the pristine servers of Facebook with their Islamist ways.
"We can use Facebook to fight the media," notes a recent posting on the extremist al-Faloja forum, translated by Jihadica.com. "We can post media on Facebook that shows the Crusader losses."

"We [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1350</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Obama Finds One Last Clinton White House Employee, Puts Her To Work</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ We at Douchebag Report have been reporting on a distinct lack of "change" when it comes to appointees in the Obama administration.

David Brooks summed it up well when he said "I’d hate to see any single member of the Clinton administration not in the Obama administration. Somebody might feel left out. I think he’s [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1346</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Joe The Plumber&#8217;s &#8220;Big Brother&#8221; Resigns</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Ohio Department of Job and Family Services Director Helen Jones-Kelley resigned Wednesday after a finding that she improperly used state computers to dig up personal information on Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher after he asked Barak Obama about his tax plan.
Department of Job and Family Services Director Helen Jones-Kelley said in a statement accompanying [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1340</link>
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		<title>Nassau PTA Takes Hands-On Approach To Middle School Sex-Ed</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Police arrested Joan Tuckruskye, a 44 year old mother and PTA Vice President, after finding her in the backseat of her SUV with a 13 year old boy.
The parked, running 2008 Nissan Pathfinder behind Meadow Elementary School in Baldwin seemed suspicious to officers Friday night, said Det. Lt. Kevin Smith.
"They tapped on a rear [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1334</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>New York Taxing Everything In Sight</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ In a desperate attempt to grab money from everything possible in order to close a $15.4 billion budget gap, Governor Paterson has introduced 88 new fees and taxes.
Trying to close a $15.4 billion budget gap, Paterson called for 88 new fees and a host of other taxes, including an "iPod tax" that taxes the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.douchebagreport.com/archives/1328</link>
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