Featured

Much Ado About Nothing

April 30, 2008 · Leave a Comment

If there was ever a doubt that global warming is a manufactured issue (read: bald-faced LIE), one needn’t look any further than footage from “An Inconvenient Truth,” the nobel prize winning documentary drafted by the douchebag spinmaster himself, Al Gore. It seems that Gore has decided to follow in the footsteps of 60 Minutes, Dan Rather, NBC and 20/20: If there is no issue, make one up. If you have no evidence, make it up… if you have no footage, make it up. That’s exactly what Al Gore did...
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Politics

Laura Bush Bashing

April 30, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle has proven that the Left hates Laura Bush because she exemplifies the traditional American woman. She portrays herself as a devote, chaste, respectful wife, mother, and woman. The first lady represents everything that they have divorced themselves from, so they must lash out in hate. Unfortunately, they all know that she’s right. Here is an excerpt from Michelle Malkin’s article on Morford: Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle’s website is one of the MSM’s...
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Hollywood

Wachoo Talkin’ Bout Willis?

February 19, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Famed child actor-turned-security guard Gary Coleman has resorted to some Diff’rent Strokes of his own recently. Coleman has admitted to “The Insider” that he has not had sex with his wife, despite their marriage in August: And in an interview with “Inside Edition,” the couple said they fight so much that “yes,” bride Shannon Price has feared for her safety. But by now, she said, “I’m used to it.” The police were even called during one domestic dispute and cited...
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Sports

Eli Manning MVP, Nose Picker

April 30, 2008 · 1 Comment

Earlier this afternoon, President Bush welcomed the New York Giants to the White House in recognition of their Super Bowl XLII victory. During the speech, Bush gave special recognition to Eli Manning: First, it’s good to be up here with the Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning. We have a few things in common. (Applause.) We got some things in common. Eli has a father and a brother in the same business he’s in. (Laughter.) Sometimes the press are skeptical. (Laughter.) And he just survived a big wedding. So I...
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Joe D-Bags

You Gotta Eat (Food Stored In The Bathroom)

April 30, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Considering unsavory, unsanitary conditions, many people knowingly avoid public bathroom usage. Unfortunately, patrons of a Sanford, Florida Checkers may have unknowningly eaten food that has been stored in one. According to a WFTV.COM report, the restaurant has been cited with several major heath code violations. Topping the list is the report that hamburger buns were stored in a men’s room, only a foot away from a toilet. Checker’s goes through a lot of hamburger buns at its drive-thru restaurants. It’s...
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Sand 'Bags

Abu Hamza To Be Extradited

February 7, 2008 · Leave a Comment

And now for some good news: The home secretary has signed the order for Abu Hamza to be extradited to the US to face terrorism charges. Hamza will be extradited within 28 days unless his lawyers appeal against the decision. Westminster magistrates court in London ruled last November that there was no bar to Hamza’s extradition. Hamza was jailed for seven years in February 2006 for soliciting murder and inciting racial hatred. The US alleges Hamza was in contact with high-ranking Taliban and al-Qaida terrorists and...
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Other

We’re Back

April 30, 2008 · Leave a Comment

We’re Back.Welcome to the new and improved Douchebag Report! As you can see, we’re back… and back with a vengeance. We took a brief hiatus to restyle the site and provide our loyal readers with many exciting new features and a look that will further empower our fight against insanity. We thank you for sticking with us, and look forward to providing you with only the finest of douchebags that our warming… no wait… cooling… no wait… warming… earth has to offer. Yep. Our...
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QuickLinks

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