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Time’s Mysterious Black Protestors

December 15, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

Time Magazine announced it’s “Person of The Year” today. Determined to prove everyone right who said they’d jumped the shark by selecting “You” back in 2006, they went with “The Protestor” this year. While the selection of “The Protester” is stupidly vague and essentially a pass by Time’s editorial board, what is ridiculous is the photo that accompanies the article. From the center moving right, we have an angry young Arab making like he’s about to... 
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Politics

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There Is A Treatment For Douchebaggery?

June 11, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

Nancy Pelosi has had enough Weiner Spectacularly self-destructive Congressman Anthony Weiner announced that he is seeking treatment for his condition. Here at The Douchebag Report, we pride ourselves on knowing everything douchebag, but we were unaware that there was a treatment available to cure someone of being a douchebag, save death. The best response to a douchebag is isolation, so they can’t do any more damage to the general public. Oddly enough, we find Nancy Pelosi in complete agreement with us on the matter. “Congressman... 
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Hollywood

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Dems to Bieber: Save Our Asses

September 13, 2010 · Leave a Comment 

Justin Bieber It’s no surprise to anyone that the Democrats are desperate – looking for any angle to get a leg-up in the November elections. This is partly why I was not surprised to learn that the Dems are leveraging the Internet popularity of none other than Justin friggin’ Bieber. Where is the logic here? First of all, Bieber is 16 years old (so, that means he can’t vote). Second of all, Bieber is Canadian (again, can’t vote). Oh wait, I know… let’s make that our really lame,... 
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Sports

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Raiders Cut the Cable, Bengals Commit to Proven Loser

January 5, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

The Oakland Raiders and Cincinnati Bengals continued their respective commitments to mediocrity this week with regard to their head coaching situations. Tom Cable led the hapless Raiders to their first .500 season since 2002, while Marvin Lewis helped to tank a talented Bengals team that was expected to challenge in the postseason.  Guess which one received a contract extension and which one was let go. Marvin Lewis was given a contract extension on the heels of a 4-12 2010 season – dead last in the NFC North.  A Mangini-led... 
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Joe D-Bags

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Why Would Anyone Want To Marry Anthony Hardwick?

November 17, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

Say what you will about the #Occupy movements, they have brought all the self-righteous douchebags out of the woodwork for everyone to see. Normally such individuals would keep their musings to the comment sections of Huffington Post and Democratic Underground. Now, they’re out in the open, letting everyone know how entitled they really feel. We all know a certain type of co-worker, the kind who dedicate their lives to getting out of as much work as possible. Someone with an array of doctor’s notes, strict “religious... 
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Sand 'Bags

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Obama Administration: Major Nidal Hasan Went Postal, Not Jihadi

December 8, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

The Obama Administration has found a highly effective method to eliminate Islamic terrorism: Changing its name. During a joint session of the Senate and House Homeland Security Committee on Wednesday, the Maine Republican referenced a letter from the Defense Department depicting the Fort Hood shootings as workplace violence. She criticized the Obama administration for failing to identify the threat as radical Islam. That’s right, when a Muslim, under the direction of the treacherous Anwar al-Awlaki, launches an attack... 
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Other

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Obama Solves More Problems (over beer)

August 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

We came across this video today, and it’s well worth the watch: You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video Kudos to LandlineTV!  Read More →

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Our Latest Douchebags

Romney Will Win For Two (maybe 3) Good Reasons

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Yeah, I suck at blogging. When this thing first started up, I enjoyed the first hundred or so hits we got on our first day. Then we got to 100,000 and then a half million (not... Read More →


Michele Bachmann is a Serious Presidential Candidate

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...and this is her serious face. In what can only be described as a desperate bid to be taken “seriously”, in last night’s Republican debate Michele Bachmann... Read More →


Time’s Mysterious Black Protestors

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Time Magazine announced it’s “Person of The Year” today. Determined to prove everyone right who said they’d jumped the shark by selecting “You”... Read More →


Obama Administration: Major Nidal Hasan Went Postal, Not Jihadi

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The Obama Administration has found a highly effective method to eliminate Islamic terrorism: Changing its name. During a joint session of the Senate and House Homeland Security... Read More →


Why Would Anyone Want To Marry Anthony Hardwick?

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Say what you will about the #Occupy movements, they have brought all the self-righteous douchebags out of the woodwork for everyone to see. Normally such individuals would keep... Read More →



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Featured Articles

#OccupyWallStreet Needs An Elevator Pitch That Isn’t #GiveUsEverythingForNothing

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In the last decade or so, the elevator pitch has become more and more important, regardless of whether you were large corporation, a salesman looking for a new client or a political... Read More →


Pedophile Terrorist Naser Jason Abdo Tries, Fails To Mug Liberals With Reality

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The latest devout follower of the Religion of Peace, Naser Jason Abdo, was arrested Tuesday after arousing the suspicions of a Killeen, Texas gun shop employee. Abdo was already... Read More →


Mothers hide your daughers, when Daily Kos comes out…

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According to Mediate.com, Andrew Breitbart did not run a story involving two underage girls, while Markos Moulitsas of Dailykos.com overtly let their identities be exposed in a... Read More →


Dems to Bieber: Save Our Asses

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Justin Bieber It’s no surprise to anyone that the Democrats are desperate – looking for any angle to get a leg-up in the November elections. This is partly why I was... Read More →


How Many Times Will Auntie Zeituni Vote?

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BOSTON — Zeituni Onyango, illegal immigrant aunt of President Barack Obama and current resident of Massachusetts may just have an opportunity to vote in today’s Senatorial... Read More →



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Douchebags of Politics

There Is A Treatment For Douchebaggery?

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Nancy Pelosi has had enough Weiner Spectacularly self-destructive Congressman Anthony Weiner announced that he is seeking treatment for his condition. Here at The Douchebag Report,... Read More →


Excuse me Mr. President…

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…does this belong to you? Excerpt from Yahoo News: Police briefly evacuated part of the Capitol building Monday after a powdery substance was found in the visitors’... Read More →


Barney Frank Criticizes Filibuster, Does Geico Commercial

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Barney Frank, Geico Spokesman Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), suggested that the Senate abandon the filibuster in a recent interview heard on Air America. In the interview, Frank said... Read More →



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Joe Douchebags

Pedro DeAlmeida: Douchebag Chiropractor

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Apparently Pedro DeAlmeida, an East Providence chiropractic physician, specializes in straightening his own bone instead of his patients’. DeAlmeida just had his license... Read More →


Don’t Egg Him On…

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little trailer of horrors JACKSON, KY – Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the trailer park, another story of fine southun’ hospitality takes to the Internet: A... Read More →


Eco-Douchebag Terrorizes Discovery Channel

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Discovery Channel Terrorist James Jay Lee Silver Spring, MD – Montgomery County Police and other area law enforcement agencies have responded to reports of a gunman with... Read More →



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