Latest Featured Article
How Many Times Will Auntie Zeituni Vote?
January 19, 2010 · Leave a Comment
BOSTON — Zeituni Onyango, illegal immigrant aunt of President Barack Obama and current resident of Massachusetts may just have an opportunity to vote in today’s Senatorial run-off election. If so, will she take MSNBC’s Ed Schultz’s advice and cheat / commit voter fraud? You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video Auntie Zeituni, you go girl! Ten votes are in your court — will you keep the Democrats fillibuster proof??? Read More →
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Politics
Barney Frank Criticizes Filibuster, Does Geico Commercial
January 19, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Barney Frank, Geico Spokesman
Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), suggested that the Senate abandon the filibuster in a recent interview heard on Air America.
In the interview, Frank said “It’s time to shut it down . . . God didn’t create the filibuster, it’s part of the Senate rules.”
Interesting. What would Rep. Frank have said if Ted Kennedy’s old seat had actually been preserved by the Democrats? Hmmm…
Here’s the video courtesy Breitbart.tv:
Following this startling admission, Rep....
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Hollywood
Kanye West: Still Pushing The Douchebag Envelope
September 14, 2009 · 2 Comments
It must be tough being Kanye West. Imagine waking up every morning and having to find a way to let everyone know that you are a bigger douchebag than you were the day before.
Fortunately, he has a genius for this kind of thing. Compare how West tops the last time he made the Douchebag Report with his latest antic.
Last time, he was speaking in an interview, a forum where at least someone (the interviewer) gave a damn about what Kanye had to say.
This time, however, the rapper-producer decided to unleash his opinions...
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Sports
Hockey Night is in Canada, So Suck It, America
March 13, 2010 · Leave a Comment
For the dozen or two of us who happen to be American and hockey fans, the most offensive drawback of living outside of the market of your home hockey team is having the games filtered through the NHL Network. The biggest problem with the NHL Network is that they lack the official squad of schlub commentators like the NFL and MLB Networks, who send their own teams of inept boothmen to cover the games.
The NHL Network commissions the CBC to cover the games. Hockey Night in Canada is the Canadian equivalent of Monday Night...
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Joe D-Bags
A Wallet Full of Game
October 20, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Rickey A. Kempter, a 50-year-old douchebag hailing from Cheyenne, Wyoming was picked up by authorities after printing phony $50 bills he intended to give to an exotic dancer. According to authorities:
Federal prosecutors say Kempter hired a[sic] the exotic dancer for a private dance at the Lariat Motel, and Kempter and the dancer shared a taxi to the location. The taxi driver called police after they arrived, saying Kempter asked him to hold a roll of $50 bills and he noticed that they looked odd and were not cut evenly.
According...
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Sand 'Bags
Terror Suspect Captured in Massachusetts
October 21, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Tarek Mehanna, a 27-year old man residing in Sudbury, Massachusetts, was arrested on federal terrorism charges this morning. Mehanna was allegedly planning terror attacks on politicians and a shopping mall. Much like the arrest of Najubullah Zazi and associates, Mehanna never got close to carrying out said attacks; federal investigators were on him from the beginning:
A Sudbury, Mass., man was arrested Wednesday on federal terrorism-related charges and accused of planning attacks inside and outside the United States,...
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Other
Obama Solves More Problems (over beer)
August 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment
We came across this video today, and it’s well worth the watch: You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video Kudos to LandlineTV! Read More →
Douchebag Report Gallery
Our Latest Douchebags
Hockey Night is in Canada, So Suck It, America
For the dozen or two of us who happen to be American and hockey fans, the most offensive drawback of living outside of the market of your home hockey team is having the games filtered... Read More →
CB Antonio Cromartie Traded to Jets, NYC Planned Parenthood Now Hiring Extra Staff
The New York Jets have acquired big play Cornerback and philandering douchebag Antonio Cromartie from the San Diego Chargers in exchange for a third round pick in the 2011 NFL... Read More →
Tiger Woods is Contrite, Chooses Sex Camp Over Golf
The Tiger Woods press conference came and went, not living up to the ESPN’s “Tiger Speaks” hype machine. Tiger strolled out promptly at 11am eastern wearing casual a light... Read More →
On the Turning of the Seasons from Winter to Late Winter
Football season is over. A lackluster 2009 NFL Playoff season ended with an entertaining Super Bowl in which Drew Moleman defeated Thumbface Manning. Sean Payton won the Big... Read More →
Super Bowl XLIV: The Expert Douchebag Guide
Super Bowl Sunday is one of those special days in the year where you are fully expected to fuck up someone else’s house at a Sunday night party and show up to work on Monday... Read More →
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Featured Articles
Douchebag In Decline
We all saw it coming, but did we see it coming this quickly? 50 percent of the country now disagrees with the Obama Administration on political issues. And guess what, kids? CNN... Read More →
Dr. Tax-and-Spend or: How Robert Reich Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Deficit
According to former Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill, when, in 2002, he warned Dick Cheney that the budget deficit was expected to top $500 billion, Cheney retorted, “You... Read More →
Ted Kennedy: Massachusetts’ Useful Idiot
Senator Edward Moore “Ted” Kennedy passed away on Tuesday, August 25 after suffering from a malignant brain tumor. Media coverage of his death has taught conservatives how... Read More →
Obama’s Illegal Warrantless Surveillance Program: Laws “Are Stubborn Things”
Someone in the Obama White House broke the law on Tuesday. Now, the White House is no stranger to violations of the law, most famously with the Watergate, Iran-Contra, Monica-gate,... Read More →
Pelosi Loves “Immoral” Cash
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi attacked the health insurance industry Thursday for unethical behavior and efforts to stop the government-run health care bill. “It’s almost... Read More →
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Update: We have fixed a problem with our submission forms. The “tell us” link below, the “report a douchebag” and “submit a douchebite” submit forms have been updated once again. Sorry for the inconvenience…
Douchebags of Politics
Barney Frank Criticizes Filibuster, Does Geico Commercial
Barney Frank, Geico Spokesman Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), suggested that the Senate abandon the filibuster in a recent interview heard on Air America. In the interview, Frank said... Read More →
Obama Deploys Retired Schoolteacher To Thwart Pay Czar Wrath
BOSTON — Salary and general public approval at risk, President Barack Obama fought Sunday to save his executive compensation package. The $400,000 per annum deal, approved... Read More →
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia
US Representative Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) was at a political rally attended by President Barack Obama on Sunday in a political race to determine who will replace the late Ted Kennedy... Read More →
More Political Douchebags
Joe Douchebags
Best Buy Stands By Its Shoplifters
Jared Bergstreser, 20, and Colin Trapp, 23, were working their way through college at the Broomfield, Colorado Best Buy, at least until they violated the company’s “Please... Read More →
Stephen Sahady Jr. “Is Like” A Child Pornographer
If you’re a married man making videos of yourself having sex with a fourteen year old girl, quite possibly the only thing you can do to further incriminate yourself is to say... Read More →
Anthony J. Peters: “Knucklehead” With A Pipe (now with actual photo)
Anthony J Peters (douchebag) with his baby mama HT to Pauly J for finding this douchebag’s MySpace page here. Anthony J. Peters scored the douchebag lottery Saturday. ... Read More →
More Joe Douchebags
Latest Douchebags...
- Hockey Night is in Canada, So Suck It, America
- CB Antonio Cromartie Traded to Jets, NYC Planned Parenthood Now Hiring Extra Staff
- Tiger Woods is Contrite, Chooses Sex Camp Over Golf
- On the Turning of the Seasons from Winter to Late Winter
- Super Bowl XLIV: The Expert Douchebag Guide
- NASCAR Calls for More Wrecks, More Fights, Kickass Retro Spoilers
- The 2010 NFL Playoffs, An Intermediate Guide
- Barney Frank Criticizes Filibuster, Does Geico Commercial
- How Many Times Will Auntie Zeituni Vote?
- Jose Offerman, the Starting Second Baseman for Your 2010 Major League Douchebag All Star Team
